


A Warrior's Loss

by sunnflowers



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Lovers, Fate, Forgiveness, Personal Evolution, Redemption, Regeneration, Repressed Memories, Second Chances, Stand Together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-05-09 22:02:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 20,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5557193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunnflowers/pseuds/sunnflowers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jasper is stuck on earth and not doing a great job of fitting in. It isn't all her fault really, Amethyst has decided not to make it easy for the homeworld gem. Jasper wasn't new to being alone, why stop now? Until Pearl gives her a few reasons to make an effort.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -Jasper was enjoying this game. She was in control, and she could easily read Pearl. I might as well take advantage of this, Jasper thought to herself.-

Jasper glared at Amethyst, a fierce grin forming on her lips. “You really want to try and take me runt?” She called her helmet and bared her sharp teeth. “You know how much stronger I am than you are, right? And what I can do to your gem with my bare hands?” Amethyst groaned, “Really Jasper, do you ever shut up? Blah blah blah, homeworld warrior. Blah blah blah, kindergarten runt. Blah blah BLAH! Are we gonna fight or not?” Amethyst looked over at Garnet who just shrugged. “Sure brat, whatever you want.” Jasper took a battle stance and looked towards Garnet. “Finally!” Amethyst replied taking a similar stance. Garnet simply gave a nod. 

Jasper is eager to fight, eager for combat. She would rather be fighting Garnet, but Amethyst was the only one willing to go another round with her. Amethyst on the other hand is focused but bored. She may be reckless, but she can strategize when she puts her mind to it. She knows Jasper, she knows the orange gem’s need to fight, need to win. And it will be so much fun to watch her lose. Jasper immediately charges at Amethyst, spin-dash, full force. Amethyst stares down her opponent and simply darts to the left. Jasper barrels up the wall and lands facing Amethyst, irritated, but intent on taking out her target. She uses the wall to launch herself into the air. A targeted attack to crush Amethyst. The purple gem seems not to be paying attention, but she is actually impressively focused, timing her movement just so. 3 … 2 … 1 … and with that, Amethyst shape shifts to a butterfly, then back to her normal form. Jasper is shocked as she crashes to the ground. Her helmet retreats as Amethyst walks away. “Game. Set. Match, loser.” 

Jasper stood and brushed the dirt from her body. It was pretty clear she was angry, but she didn’t say a word. She looked up at the purple gem walking away from her and thought about attacking her from behind. “Don’t even think about it Jasper,” Garnet said flatly. “Don’t be mad that she outsmarted you.” Ugh, Jasper groaned to herself. Now the fusion is mocking me. “Yea cheeto puff, it was all in good fun,” Amethyst laughed. Jasper fumed silently. She hated losing, hated being mocked, and still wasn’t sure why Amethyst had given her that nickname. She took a deep breath and consciously calmed her voice. “I wanted an actual fight Amethyst. If I wanted a strategic battle I would have challenged Pearl.” “Welp,” Amethyst said with a laugh. “Guess next time you should be more specific.” 

The three gems warped back to the beach house where Pearl and Steven were waiting in the living room. “How was your match?” Pearl said optimistically. “Ask the cheeto puff how losing feels,” Amethyst said with a laugh. “Amethyst won?!” Steven shouted. “No!” Jasper all but screamed. Pearl and Steven switched their gaze to Garnet. The fusion adjusted her glasses before nodding. “Yes, Amethyst won. And I suppose she didn’t technically cheat.” Jasper growled before storming out of the beach house. Pearl watched the orange gem leave. She had never seen that expression on Jasper’s face before. 

“Amethyst, do you think maybe you were too hard on her?” Pearl asked softly. “What? Please! She spends all day telling me how she’s an elite warrior. She won’t shut up about how a runt like me could never live up to the expectations of a quartz. Let her enjoy her loss. She deserves it.” Amethyst tossed her hair before entering the temple. “Jasper looked upset,” Steven said, staring at the door. Garnet placed her hand on the boy’s shoulder. “Amethyst won, and she didn’t cheat. Jasper was just expecting her to fight differently. Her pride is hurt; she’ll get over it.” Pearl wasn’t so sure. “I’m going to go talk to her,” Pearl announced as she walked out of the beach house. 

After walking a fair distance from the beach house, Pearl finally found Jasper. The orange gem sat cross legged in the sand and it seemed she was meditating. Pearl approached slowly, not wanting to startle her. Before Pearl was even within striking distance, Jasper’s voice boomed. “Go away.” Pearl rolled her eyes, “I just wanted to see if you were alright.” She took another couple steps forward. “I said go away!” Pearl stopped her advance. “Come on Jasper, just talk to me.” The orange gem opened her eyes and tilted her head in Pearl’s direction. “What don’t you understand about ‘Go away’? Even homeworld pearls aren’t that dumb.” With that, Pearl sighed and planted herself directly in front of Jasper. 

“Now listen to me mighty homeworld warrior. If you haven’t noticed, I’m the only one even trying to give you a chance besides Steven, so I would appreciate it if you would stop taking out your frustration on me.” “I’m not frustrated!” Jasper yelled back. Pearl just snickered. Jasper narrowed her eyes and glared at Pearl. “I could crush you.” Pearl stared back into Jasper’s eyes, “I know that.” Jasper continued to stare, “I’m faster than you, and I could destroy your gem before Garnet could even make it out here.” Pearl blinked back at her, “Yes, that is certainly true.” Jasper looked visibly startled at her response but it didn’t last long. “My teeth are sharper than your spear,” she said growling and showing off her canines. Pearl took a serious look at Jasper’s teeth before replying. “Yes, you might be correct in this case as well.” 

Jasper looked down into the sand. “Why are you here Pearl?” Pearl stood and repositioned herself next to Jasper. “Oh, so you’re ready to be civil?” Jasper just shrugged. “I’m here, as I mentioned already, because I wanted to see if you were alright.” Jasper ground her teeth together, “I’m fine.” “I am not dumb Jasper; I can tell when you’re lying to me.” Jasper ground her teeth together more firmly. Pearl noticed Jasper’s cheeks were darker than normal. “Jasper? Are you … embarrassed?” The warrior continued to grind her teeth, this time, loud enough for Pearl to hear it. “Woah!” Pearl sat up and placed her hand to Jasper’s cheek. “Stop it, you’re going to crack a tooth.” Jasper was startled by Pearl’s touch and stopped grinding her teeth. 

Pearl’s cheeks flushed as she realized she had invaded Jasper’s personal space. “Sorry,” she mumbled pulling her hand back. “Uhmm, you … you’re going to crack a tooth if you keep doing that.” Pearl looked down at the sand. Jasper shook her head, regaining composure, “My point,” she said with a growl, “was that l could end your existence at any moment. You should fear me Pearl.” Jasper’s words were sharp, but Pearl could hear the smallest amount of uncertainty. They sat in silence, Pearl unsure what to say to the warrior. 

After a while, Pearl spoke. “I recognize you are a well-trained solider Jasper. You were bred for excellence and are one of the best, possibly THE best at your job. Don’t let Amethyst beating you one time make you doubt that.” She started to stand when Jasper shouted at her. “It isn’t Amethyst!” Pearl stopped and looked back at Jasper. The orange gem already regretted her comment. Pearl sat back down next to Jasper, facing her this time. She was silent for a moment, waiting to see if Jasper would speak without being prompted. Jasper sat staring into the sand, stone-faced. 

“Jasper,” Pearl barely whispered. “Why are you upset?” Jasper sighed. She wanted to be left alone, but she didn’t have the energy to yell at Pearl anymore. She wasn’t even sure why Pearl was asking. She didn’t seem interested in mocking her, but why would she care? Jasper’s shoulders were slopped and her eyes cast down. She looked defeated, a look Pearl had not seen the warrior wear … ever. 

Jasper lifted her head to look at Pearl. Her eyes were sharp and cold, and she looked determined. “I was created to fight, to crush enemies and win wars. What am I doing on this planet? I’m just playing silly games and being mocked by underlings.” Pearl bit her lip, “I’m not mocking you. I want to know what’s wrong. I care about …” Pearl caught herself. “I care about my teammates and you seemed upset. I wanted to see if you were okay.” 

Pearl’s verbal slip pulled Jasper out of self-pity mode. Her mind raced, her facial expressions fleeting, Pearl was unable to read them. Jasper stood up and began to walk further away from the temple. As she had hoped, Pearl followed in silence. So, Pearl cares about me, Jasper thought to herself. That wasn’t the speech of a concerned teammate either. Well this is … unexpected. They reached the end of the beach, sectioned off by a rock wall. Jasper leaned against it, arms crossed, staring at Pearl, thinking. 

Pearl stared back, uncertain why the warrior had walked further from the temple. Is Jasper trying to get away from me? Pearl thought to herself. She pondered that situation and concluded it wasn’t likely. Not only was Jasper walking fairly slowly, but she hadn’t requested that she leave. Pearl shifted her gaze to the sand at her feet as she felt her face flush. “You’re blushing,” Jasper stated frankly. This of course only made Pearl blush more. 

Jasper stood in front of Pearl, lifting her head with her hand. “Look at me,” Jasper said. Pearl slowly focused her eyes on Jasper’s. She could feel her face burning against Jasper’s cool skin. She stared at the markings across Jasper’s face, focusing on not reaching up to run her fingers across them. Jasper began to laugh to herself. She let go of Pearl’s face and sat on a nearby rock. “What’s so funny?” Pearl asked indignantly. Jasper just smirked, refusing to say a word. “Jasper! Why are you laughing at me?!” Pearl could feel her whole body becoming warm as she refused to make eye contact with the other gem. 

Jasper was enjoying this game. She was in control, and she could easily read Pearl. I might as well take advantage of this, Jasper thought to herself. “Come here,” Jasper said softly. Pear was startled by the softness of Jasper’s voice, but approached the large gem anyway. She stood in front of Jasper, refusing to make eye contact. “Now you’re afraid of me?” Jasper said, confused. “Well, no,” Pearl said, still not making eye contact. “I … I’m always … a little bit afraid of you Jasper.” Why did I say that?! Pearl thought to herself.

Jasper laughed, drawing Pearl’s attention to the orange gem’s face. In that second, Jasper made her move, pulling Pearl towards her and pressing their lips together. Pearl’s eyes widen for just a second before she all but melted into Jasper’s arms.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -Steven looked at the gems. “I thought we agreed she deserved a chance. Isn’t that why we let her stay? Doesn’t giving her a chance mean at least trying to be nice to her?” Both Garnet and Amethyst looked a little ashamed.-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't going to continue with this story but ... why not

When Pearl returned to the beach house, Steven was sitting in the living room waiting for her. “Is Jasper okay?” Pearl jumped at the sound of Steven’s voice. “Steven! Oh, you startled me. Uhmm, yes, I think Jasper is fine.” “Did you talk to her?” “Yes! Yes, I talked to her and she seems okay.” Pearl hurried to the kitchen to wash the dishes. Anything to keep Steven from seeing how flushed her face was. Steven paused for a moment. He wasn’t sure what was wrong with Pearl, but thought it might be better not to ask. “So, is she coming home?” Pearl looked up from the dishes, “Huh? Oh, Jasper. I’m … I’m not sure.” Pearl noticed the distressed look on the boy’s face. “Oh Steven, don’t worry. I promise, Jasper is okay. She’ll come back, I think she just needs her space for a bit.” 

\---

The gems sat in the living room playing cards. It had been three days and there still was no sign of Jasper, not that anyone had really gone looking. Steven and Pearl were getting anxious. “Garnet?” The young boy spoke between turns. “Do you think Jasper is alright?” Garnet’s facial expression didn’t change. “I imagine she is fine. She is a homeworld warrior after all.” Amethyst snickered behind her hand of cards. “Yea, that’s why she was beat by a butterfly.” 

Pearl frowned. “You could ease up on her you know Amethyst.” Amethyst laughed, “I could. But I won’t! And why are you suddenly on her side anyway?” Pearl’s face grew hot, “I’m not on anyone’s side! She just seemed kind of upset the other day and I know you can sometimes take things too far.” Amethyst rolled her eyes. “Yea, you haven’t seen FAR yet …” Steven put his hand on the purple gem’s arm. “Maybe Pearl is right. Maybe Jasper hasn’t come back because she doesn’t think we like her.” Amethyst looked back at the boy confused, “Yea, well, I don’t.” Steven’s gaze fell to the floor. “I think what Amethyst means is,” Garnet interrupted, “that we haven’t had enough time to judge Jasper’s intentions.” 

“Yea,” Amethyst said softly. “That’s what I meant.” Steven looked at the gems. “I thought we agreed she deserved a chance. Isn’t that why we let her stay? Doesn’t giving her a chance mean at least trying to be nice to her?” Both Garnet and Amethyst looked a little ashamed. “We can’t completely let our guard down,” Garnet said softly. “But yes Steven, we should be giving her a chance. And that means being nice.” Steven looked at Amethyst hopefully. The purple gem rolled her eyes, “Yea, yea. I’ll apologize. Whenever she gets back.” Steven smiled. “Good. I know Jasper deserves another chance!” Pearl listened quietly, happy the others were willing to try harder with Jasper. But she was still concerned the orange gem wouldn’t return to the temple. 

After Steven went to bed, Pearl exited the beach house. She searched the beach but didn’t find any sign of Jasper. She sat down in the sand, trying to consider the options. Well, the only nearby warp pad is at the temple, Pearl thought to herself. So she probably hasn’t warped anywhere. I searched the beach already and she isn’t a fan of people so that eliminates the boardwalk. Pearl paused for a minute to look up at the sky. She couldn’t see nearly as many stars as you could see on homeworld, but she enjoyed the ones she could see. As she watched, it came to her. If Jasper was anywhere, she was watching the stars. 

Pearl followed the beach down towards the rock wall. Just before the wall was a path leading up the side of a cliff. It looked similar to the original cliff the temple was built into all those years ago. At the top, sitting against a tree and staring at the stars, was Jasper. Pearl knew Jasper could sense her presence, but the orange gem didn’t move or speak. Pearl made her way over and sat next to Jasper, being careful to ensure she wasn’t too close. Both gems remained silent, watching as the clouds moved across the moon and the stars seemed to alternate brightness in the nightly light display. 

After several hours, Jasper shifted her gaze to the ground. She had grown tired of watching the stars, of dreaming about her life on homeworld. The longer she thought about it the more she realized it wasn’t all that great. Sure, she had power. She was highly ranking and she was respected and/or feared. But that only gave her the privilege of leading countless gems in battle or military missions. Of course she loved to fight, and she loved to win, but at some point, what joy do you get from fighting enemies you are guaranteed to vanquish? On homeworld, her list of duties was endless, if it wasn’t one mission it was another. And if there wasn’t a mission, they were either at war or training new soldiers to go to war. Here, Jasper had time to think, and she was realizing, she wasn’t really sure what to do with herself. 

“Please come home, Jasper.” Pearl’s voice was small and startled both gems equally. Jasper didn’t look up, “My home is on homeworld.” Pearl closed her eyes and sighed. “As is mine,” Pearl said softly. “But, we can’t be on homeworld right now, can we? So, you do the best with what you have. And what you have right now is a beach house, a temple, and four gems waiting to welcome you back.” She didn’t bother trying to make eye contact with the orange gem, she knew Jasper was staring at the sand. “And isn’t that more than you had on homeworld anyway?” 

Jasper clenched her fist. “No.” She spoke with an even tone trying to cover her anger. “On homeworld I had respect. On homeworld I had pride. I wasn’t belittled or mocked, because I had the power and authority to prove I deserved respect. Here … I’m worse than a prisoner. Here, I’m your amusement.” Pearl could feel her heart sink as Jasper spoke. She never wanted Jasper to feel that way, and as much as Amethyst and Garnet disliked her, she doubted either of them wanted Jasper to suffer emotionally. She thought about how Jasper must feel, no wonder she hasn’t been back to the temple. 

Pearl slowly repositioned herself, kneeling directly in front of Jasper. She rested her hands on the warrior’s ankles. “Jasper,” she began. She knew she wouldn’t get through what she had to say if she looked into those piercing gold eyes. “The history between homeworld and earth has not been a fairytale, we both know this. Just as the history between you and us has been complicated and difficult. But both sides have been trying to defend what they believe is right.” Pearl paused for a moment and looked up. Jasper didn’t look angry, she actually looked slightly void of emotion. 

“But, for right now, it isn’t the homeworld gems vs the crystal gems. Right now, we are all just gems. Gems who happen to be on earth. Some of us consider this home, some of us consider homeworld home, but we all just want to live out today with what we have. Please? Can’t we just try to put aside what has happened?” Pearl looked back at the ground. “I respect you, and I know you could crush me. But I don’t believe you would crush me without provocation. I trust you, Jasper. Could you please try to trust me?” 

Pearl looked back up into Jasper’s eyes. The orange gem looked uncertain. For some reason, this enticed Pearl to lean forward. She gently pressed her lips to Jasper’s. For a split second, Jasper looked stunned, but she returned Pearl’s affection. After the kiss, their eyes locked for a moment before Pearl returned to sitting next to Jasper. This time, she sat close enough to touch the warrior. They sat in silence, once again watching the stars until Jasper broke the silence this time. “Why does the fusion distrust me?” Pearl continued to stare straight ahead. “Garnet? Well, you have made your opinions about fusions well known. But most likely, it is her future vision. She can see all possible outcomes and I’m sure there are a few possibilities where you cause us harm. She is guarded to protect her family.” 

Jasper thought about Pearl’s response for a while before she asked another question. “Why does Amethyst mock me?” Pearl sighed. “You kind of mock her as well.” Jasper accepted her response without a rebuttal. The orange gem started to speak again but Pearl cut her off. “My turn to ask a question. Will you come home?” Jasper looked towards Pearl but quickly averted eye contact. “My home is on homeworld,” she said softly. “But yes, I will come back to the temple with you.” Pearl ran her fingertips over Jasper’s leg. “Good.” “But first, tell me why it matters so much to you?” 

The sun was starting to come up behind them. It gave everything a faint glow that reflected slightly over the water. There wasn’t enough light to quite drown out the stars yet so Pearl continued to look towards the sky. Pearl thought to herself, I might as well tell her. After all, they had just kissed for a second time. Pearl’s face flushed a deep blue highlighted with dark pink. “I care about you Jasper.” She swallowed hard. “I like you.” Jasper let Pearl’s words sink in. “But … why?” Pearl wasn’t sure how to answer that. “I … uhm, I don’t know. I like that you are intelligent and fearless. And when you aren’t being a jerk, you’re funny. And I think you have it in you to even be sweet sometimes.” Pearl blushed more as Jasper looked over at her. “You’re blushing,” Jasper said with a smile.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -“Peridot,” Pearl said. “Is Jasper okay?”   
> “She seems upset. She believes Amethyst to be mocking her. I suggested Amethyst was simply teasing her, an action based in affection instead of malice, but she became angry and I took my leave.”-

Pearl held the beach house door open as Jasper walked inside. Steven was in the kitchen making breakfast when he saw the two gems enter. “JASPER!!” Steven ran to the orange gem and wrapped his arms around her legs. “I was worried you weren’t coming back. But now you’re back! I’m so happy to see you.” Jasper let a slight smile cross her lips. It was actually kind of nice to be genuinely missed. She looked across the room and saw Amethyst lounging on the couch reading a magazine. The purple gem looked at them over the pages but didn’t speak. 

“I was just making breakfast! Do you want some?” Steven asked Jasper. The orange gem looked down at the young boy and tried to figure out how to say no without crushing his spirit. “I … uhm … eating isn’t really my thing Steven.” She looked over at Pearl, hoping to get some help. “Oh,” Steven said. “That’s okay. I’m still really glad you’re back!” He walked back to the kitchen to finish making breakfast. “Hey Amethyst, do you still want some?” “Yea I do!” Amethyst replied enthusiastically. “But can you hold it for me? Jasper and I have to have a little chat. We’ll be right back.” 

Amethyst eyed Jasper over her magazine before placing it down and walking out the door. Jasper again glanced at Pearl who only shrugged. What could Amethyst want with me now? Jasper thought to herself. She exited the beach house and slowly descended the stairs keeping her eyes on the purple gem already sitting against a rock in the sand. Amethyst had her eyes on Jasper as well; she may have to be nice, but she didn’t have to trust her. 

Jasper placed herself several feet from Amethyst, but still clearly within earshot. She sat, trying to channel all of her calm. Amethyst was still staring, she looked … combative. Jasper bit her lip and thought about what Pearl said. “You kind of mock her as well.” She took a deep breath before speaking. “Amethyst, I’m sorry.” Amethyst’s gaze didn’t change as Jasper spoke. “You know, for mocking you, calling you a runt and all.” Amethyst still looking unimpressed. “You’re actually,” Jasper looked away, “an impressive fighter.” “I know,” Amethyst growled in a way that suggested she did in fact already know. 

“Maybe we could spar again, you know, a friendly battle this time.” Amethyst cut her off, “Listen Jasper, I don’t care that you’re here. I don’t care that Steven sees you as worthy of a second chance. And I don’t care what you do. I actually want nothing to do with you, alright? … Just keep your distance, cheeto puff.” With that, Jasper lost her calm, “Why do you keep calling me that?!” She shouted. Amethyst just laughed as she walked away. “Oh,” she called over her shoulder. “And if anyone asks, I officially apologized for the sparing incident.” Jasper watched as Amethyst walked calmly back up the stairs to the beach house. The orange gem felt as if her anger was boiling away within her chest. She picked up the boulder Amethyst had been sitting against and threw it into the ocean. She watched the rock splash into the water before sitting on the beach. The anger slowly dissipated and Jasper was left confused, confused, but not alone.

Peridot seated herself next to Jasper and waited to be acknowledged. Jasper looked towards the green gem and back out towards the water. “Well,” Peridot started. “That was a rather colorful display of limited self-control.” “Can it Peridot, I’m not in the mood for your know-it-all attitude.” Peridot giggled to herself. “Well sometimes, I DO know it all. From the looks of it, you seemed to be trying to sway Amethyst, am I wrong?” Jasper rolled her eyes, “Yes, in fact you are wrong.” Peridot wrinkled her nose and reconsidered. “Really? Because from my perspective it in fact seemed you were trying to make amends. Something Amethyst seemed to want no part of.” She tilted her head and rested it on her hand. “I wonder where I went wrong in my evaluation of the for mentioned events. And I thought I was getting better at understanding these interactions!” 

“Peridot! Stop, just stop.” Jasper didn’t want to hear the smaller gem retrace her logic. “Yes, I was trying to apologize to Amethyst. No, Amethyst did not accept my apology. She just continued to mock me and then walked away.” Peridot thought for a second before speaking again, “What is ‘mock’?” Jasper sighed. “They really didn’t let you interact with anyone back on homeworld did they?” Peridot straightened defensively, “It wasn’t required for my job. I only socialized with other peridots and we hardly had anything interesting to speak to each other about.” Jasper sighed again. One day she would learn not to ask Peridot rhetorical questions. “Mock means ridicule, she was making fun of me Peridot.” 

Peridot was quiet for a moment. She could tell Jasper was angry and she didn’t want to be the one to anger her more. But her time on earth had left her speaking more freely than she had been trained to do. After some thought, Peridot spoke up. “Uhm, Jasper. After spending a fair amount of time with Amethyst, I have noticed that her ‘mocking’ as you call it, tends to be based in affection, not ridicule.” Jasper narrowed her eyes, “Are you questioning me?” Peridot squeeked timidly. “No, I was just supplying you with an observation. I thought it might be pertinent to the conversation.” With that Peridot got up and left for the beach house. 

As Peridot walked up the stairs, she saw Pearl standing on the porch. It seemed she was watching Jasper, but Peridot couldn’t be sure. “Peridot,” Pearl said as the green gem reached the last step. “Is Jasper okay?” Peridot was confused, “Why are you asking me? I don’t know anything about what goes on with her.” Pearl placed her hand to her head, continually frustrated with the green gem but still wanting an answer. “I’m asking you,” she started in a calm, steady voice, “because you were just speaking with her.” “Oh,” Peridot replied. “Well, yes, I suppose I was. She seems upset. She believes Amethyst to be mocking her. I suggested Amethyst was simply teasing her, an action based in affection instead of malice, but she became angry and I took my leave.” Peridot went into the beach house, leaving Pearl to her thoughts. 

Pearl watched Jasper sit on the beach for a little while longer. She worried that all the coaching she did to get Jasper to come back may have been undone within minutes of her return. She needed to have a talk with Amethyst. She walked back into the beach house and saw Peridot watching Steven and Amethyst eat their breakfast. It seemed Peridot was taking notes while Amethyst was covering the edible food Steven had given her with random inedible substances. Pearl stood in the doorway and watched, they all looked so happy. She wondered if Jasper would ever seem quite that happy here. Pearl shook herself from her thoughts and cleared her throat. “Amethyst, do you think we could talk for a bit?” Amethyst tipped her head back to look at Pearl. “Huh? Yea sure!” she said with a mouth full of food. “That’s disgusting Amethyst.” 

After breakfast had been cleaned up, Pearl and Amethyst took a walk to the purple gem’s room. They found a place Pearl found suitable for sitting and Amethyst questioned the tall gem. “What’d you want to talk to me about Pearly?” Pearl knew this would be a difficult conversation. She and Amethyst didn’t always see eye to eye and Pearl would have to explain her concern without mentioning any feelings she may or may not have for Jasper. Pearl sighed. “Uhmm, I wanted to talk to you about Jasper.” Amethyst rolled her eyes, “I already talked to her P. I apologized like you guys told me to, what more do you want?” Pearl bit her lip, “No, that isn’t what I wanted to talk about.” The tall gem was having second thoughts about this conversation. 

“I just … well, I wanted … never mind. This was a bad idea.” Pearl began to stand up but the purple gem grabbed her arm. “Hey wait, no. Pearl! What’s wrong?” The pale gem turned her head, avoiding eye contact with Amethyst. “Why are you upset? Has Jasper done something to hurt you?!” Pearl’s head snapped back towards Amethyst, “What?! No! Of course not!” Amethyst set her jaw and glared at Pearl, “She is really going to regret coming to earth.” This time, Pearl grabbed Amethyst’s arm, “Amethyst! She hasn’t done anything.” Pearl looked directly into Amethyst’s eyes, “I promise.” The purple gem calmed down slightly. “So, what has you so upset Pearl?” She asked softly wrapping the taller gem in a hug. 

Pearl sighed once again. “I had a conversation with her. And … I’m worried about her Amethyst.” Amethyst had a snarky comment on her tongue, but the sight of Pearl filled with anxiety stopped her from speaking. “She’s incredibly upset and feels very alone. I tried so hard to get her to come back to the temple. I don’t know what happened but she’s been back for only a few hours and I think everything we talked about, all that coaxing … she seems back to where she was before we spoke.” Pearl took a deep breath, trying to will the tears forming in her eyes not to spill. She fixed her gaze to the floor as she spoke. “She feels like a prisoner we keep around for entertainment.” Pearl’s lip began to quiver, “I wouldn’t want anyone to feel that way. It was horrible.” 

Suddenly, Amethyst realized what Jasper meant to Pearl. She didn’t quite understand it, but she didn’t want to hurt Pearl … ever. Amethyst pulled Pearl back into a hug. “It’s okay P. I’ll go talk to her, alright? I’ll make sure she knows it’s not like that. I’ll fix it Pearl, I promise.” Pearl wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands and gave Amethyst a weak smile. “Thanks Amethyst.” They walked back to the beach house and found Steven watching TV. The boy invited them to watch with him and Pearl agreed. “No thanks,” Amethyst said, “I’m going to find Jasper,” as she disappeared out the beach house door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -Sometimes when Pearl was alone with her thoughts, she could see her fated paths.-

Jasper was still sitting by the water where Amethyst had left her; the purple gem watched her from the porch. What am I going to say to her? Amethyst thought to herself. She paced slowly, deep in thought. _Ugh. Why does she have to be such a jerk? It was almost … fun to spar with her. I almost wouldn’t mind her being around. Ugh! How am I even considering forgiving her for everything she’s done? How has Pearl forgiven her?_ “Amethyst?” The purple gem spun around to see Garnet standing behind her. “G! Where did you come from? How long have you been there?” Garnet walked to the railing and leaned on it, staring out at the water. “Not long.” 

Amethyst leaned on the railing as well. “What do you think of her?” Amethyst said without looking up. They stood in silence for a while, until Garnet turned around. She crossed her arms and looked at Amethyst, “It doesn’t matter what I think. Just go talk to her.” Garnet shrugged and walked back into the beach house. Leaving Amethyst alone again with her thoughts … and with Jasper. Whatever, I’ll wing it, Amethyst thought as she walked down the stairs. 

Jasper looked over and saw the purple gem walking towards her. She rolled her eyes. Like I haven’t already had enough of this, she thought. The orange gem fixed her eyes on the horizon as Amethyst sat beside her. They sat in silence while Amethyst tried to figure out where to start. “So, uhm, Jasper? That apology you gave me earlier … was it … err … did you mean it?” Jasper clenched her jaw, but otherwise gave no response. “Because if you did,” Amethyst continued, “maybe we should talk about it.” Jasper didn’t respond. Amethyst sighed and sat silently, trying to think of another approach. 

“You know … it was actually kind of nice to have another gem to spar with. I mean, Pearl is only concerned with technique and G is too responsible to be reckless.” Jasper still didn’t speak a word. Amethyst was getting frustrated, but she didn’t blame the orange gem. It wasn’t like Amethyst had made this easy on her earlier. “Alright look, I’m sorry okay? I’ve been kind of rotten to you, but you weren’t exactly friendly to me. The whole attempt at dragging us back to homeworld still doesn’t sit right with me. But if we’re going to be stuck sharing space, I suppose we should patch things over. And you did apologize, kind of.” 

Jasper turned to look at Amethyst, unsure what to even do in this type of situation. She began to speak but changed her mind and turned back to the horizon. Amethyst took a deep breath before she began again. “Pearl told me you feel like we are keeping you here just to laugh at you. We wouldn’t do that, Jasper.” Amethyst stopped trying to look at the orange gem and shifted her gaze to the sand. “That’s what it was like for Pearl on homeworld, she would never allow that to happen to you. We aren’t using you. We aren’t laughing at you. The sparing thing … Yea, I was trying to get you back for all the times you’ve called me a runt and said what a disappointment I was as a quartz. But it was only a prank … teasing at most.” Amethyst bit her lip. “Aaannnnddddd … I’ll stop with the cheeto puff thing. It was only meant as a joke, but once I saw it bothered you I kept it going.” 

The two gems were silent for a while. Amethyst was almost ready to head back inside when Jasper suddenly spoke. “Yea. My apology earlier was sincere.” Amethyst nodded her head slowly, “Okay. Well, I accept your apology. And I hope you’ll consider mine.” Amethyst got up and brushed the sand off herself. As she began to leave Jasper said, “Yea, I accept yours as well.” Amethyst turned around and faced the orange gem, offering her hand. “So … we’re cool?” Jasper’s forehead furrowed. It was clear she had no idea what Amethyst was talking about. Amethyst laughed to herself. “I mean, are we good?” Jasper eyed the small purple gem for a moment. “Yea. We’re cool,” she said as she stood and took Amethyst’s hand. After a quick handshake, they made their way back to the beach house. 

\---

Pearl stood perched atop the water in her room. The music began and she started the warm up routine she had memorized centuries ago. It had once required dedication and focus, not only to master the steps but to perfect the muscular movements making the technique also perfect. She however had mastered both long ago and now, it provided a hypnotic set of movements she could repeat while meditating.

Pearl’s legs moved gracefully, side, front, side, back. She shifted her weight and moved to the other foot, side, back, side, front. Her arms naturally followed the movements of her legs while her head tilted slightly, but mostly faced forward. Her eyes were closed now and finally she slipped into a meditative state. Her mind was empty for nearly two more dance combinations before thoughts of Jasper began to fill her head. Recalling their last kiss flustered Pearl, breaking her concentration and causing her to forget what step she was on. The tall gem sighed and turned the music off. 

She acknowledged the butterflies in her stomach, slowly sitting down before wrapping her arms around her waist. What was she going to do? What was she supposed to do? Pearl didn’t talk about it much, but she strongly believed there were things controlled by fate. She often had moments where she felt she was fated to do something or be somewhere and it almost always worked out that way. She never worked to nurture those feelings, she never had to. She had Garnet to tell them far more accurately how the future would play out, but still… Sometimes when Pearl was alone with her thoughts, she could see her fated paths. 

She closed her eyes and remembered her kiss with Jasper, before long she was watching herself and Jasper sitting under a cherry tree. Pearl knew this moment had never happened before, but it felt real, detailed in a way she wasn’t expecting. So real, she wondered if this was a different pearl, a different jasper she was observing. She opened her eyes and was startled by the realization the scene was still playing before her, a projection from her gem. 

She watched as the orange gem ran her fingers softly over the pearl’s cheek. The expression on the jasper’s face was euphoric, complete contentment while the pearl looked embarrassed, flushed. In one sweet gesture, the jasper took the pearl’s hands and laced their fingers together. She watches the facial expression of the pearl intently, first calm, then adoration, then contentment. She continues to watch as the two sat, the pearl wrapped in the jasper’s arms. Pearl moved on to observing the jasper. The warrior’s strong arms were placed carefully around the pearl while her sharp teeth lingered dangerously close to the pearl’s neck. The pearl showed no sign of fear as the jasper gently placed a kiss on her shoulder. 

The gentleness between the two gems startled Pearl and her projection disappeared. She held her breath, wondering if her projection was directed by fate or her imagination. Surely, it was just an exaggerated fantasy, she thought to herself. But she had a hard time convincing herself of that. Maybe it was another pearl, a different jasper, but she knew that wasn’t true either. Pearl suddenly recalled a projection long ago that similarly suggested she was fated to belong to Rose. The thin gem wrapped her arms more tightly around her body. She knew that pearl was her; she and Jasper were fated to be together. 

\---  
Jasper walked out onto the porch to see Pearl standing with Garnet and Peridot. The three gems were in a heated conversation about their living arrangements. “I do not require another room. I am perfectly happy in what you call ‘bathroom’,” Peridot said with slight attitude. “Peridot, Steven needs that room. What if we give you another one, in the temple? It can look just like the bathroom,” Garnet stated plainly. Jasper stood just outside the group until Pearl noticed her. “Oh, Jasper. If you’re going to stay, we should arrange a room for you as well.” Jasper shook her head, “I’m all set. I don’t sleep and I don’t like staying still for too long. I have no need for a room.” Garnet looked from Peridot to Jasper. “Suit yourself,” she stated before starting to walk away. “But Peridot, Steven needs the bathroom,” she called over her shoulder. Peridot stormed after her, “That isn’t fair!” 

They were alone, Jasper thought to herself. She and Pearl stood on the porch awkwardly avoiding eye contact. Jasper noticed how warm her own skin felt suddenly. Pearl ran her hands through her short hair as Jasper watched. She was unsure why that particular gesture made her want to pull Pearl into her arms, but Jasper resisted. Pearl bit her lip as she made up her mind to test her idea of fate. She moved closer to Jasper, standing only centimeters from the warrior, looking up into her golden eyes. Pearl waited, giving Jasper opportunity for the next move. After a moment, the orange gem lifted her hand slowly and brushed a strand of Pearl’s hair away from her face. Pearl blushed fiercely as the butterflies in her stomach started up again. She took a few unneeded breaths to focus before looking back into Jasper’s beautiful eyes. “We should talk,” Pearl said softly.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -Ugh! How do you end up in situations like this Jasper? Couldn’t this little crush on Pearl have waited until everything else was sorted out?-

Jasper stared at the gem in front of her. She was so unlike anyone she had encountered before. Jasper spent most of her time with quartz warriors, but during her time as a commander she encountered all types of gems. She had even dealt with many pearls in her lifetime. She never had a reason to spend too much time with one, but she had met several and Pearl was nothing like any of them. Jasper continued to stare; the non-traditional yet still delicate choice of outfit, her soft eyes, her elegant stance, not to mention her skill wielding her spear and confidence. Jasper couldn’t place it, but Pearl had something she didn’t usually see in other gems. 

“Jasper? Did you hear me?” Jasper returned from her thoughts to see Pearl making an odd face. “Did you hear me, Jasper?” Pearl said again. The orange gem wasn’t sure exactly what she was talking about. “Uhm, you said we should talk, right?” Pearl looked towards the floor, “Yes, I thought we could meet up maybe tonight?” Her face turned a deeper shade of blue. “I mean, just to talk.” Jasper scanned the thin gem’s face, she looked anxious, almost scared. Her cheeks were pink along with the bridge of her nose while her face continued to turn deeper shades of blue. Jasper ran her finger under Pearl’s chin gently. “I’ll come find you around dusk,” Jasper offered before smiling wickedly. “You’re blushing again,” she teased before turning around and walking away. 

Pearl watched as Jasper walked down the stairs from the porch. She could feel her entire body becoming warm and she knew her face was still an embarrassing shade of blue. She couldn’t figure out what it was about Jasper that made her blush so fiercely. She took several deep breaths trying to clear her head. She couldn’t go back inside looking the way she did. Instead, she decided to meditate on top of the temple. Maybe there she could focus and determine what she was going to say to the orange gem later that night. 

Jasper took the stairs down towards the beach, unsure where she was headed. She needed to find something to do. She was tired of all the sitting around, it was making her anxious. “Jasper!” Steven’s voice echoed as he called to her from the shoreline. “Hi Steven,” Jasper replied. The boy smiled, looking cheerful as always. “Come sit with me and watch the waves. Unless you’re busy, are you busy?” Jasper looked at Steven’s hopeful face. “Yes, I mean … No. I was looking for something to do. I’m tired of just sitting around all day.” Steven’s face lit up, “Maybe I can help you find something to do!” Jasper shook her head as she sat down in the sand. “Sure. Why not.” She might have been bored, but she was also pretty tired of arguing. 

Steven picked up his ukulele and started to strum aimlessly. Jasper watched as the boy began to hum. “What … what are you doing?” Steven looked up at Jasper. “Just playing a song I wrote. Want to hear it?” Jasper wasn’t sure what Steven was referring to. She had never seen an instrument quite like what the boy was holding. She was impressed it could play several different tones almost at the same time and at how harmonious they sounded together. Jasper nodded at the boy and he began his song for the orange gem. Jasper closed her eyes and listened. 

The orange gem was lost in her thoughts as she listened to the boy’s song. She wondered what seemed to come over her every time she spoke to Pearl. _Why does she make me feel so … strange? It’s not like I’ve never seen a cute gem before. I mean, she is pretty cute, but that shouldn’t matter. So what if her smile is adorable and the way she blushes is possibly the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Ugh! How do you end up in situations like this Jasper? Couldn’t this little crush on Pearl have waited until everything else was sorted out?_

A loud splash pulled Jasper from her thoughts and Steven from his music. “What was that?” Jasper asked worried that she knew exactly what that was. They both looked towards the water and saw an incredibly large green and gray monster begin to rise from the water. “Steven go inside,” Jasper said, not taking her eyes off the corrupted gem. “No. I can help!” The boy said emphatically. “Steven! Go inside,” Jasper repeated herself angrily. “Tell the others, now!” 

Jasper stood watching as the monster rose from the water and came towards the beach. Her brain immediately went into tactical mode. Four arms, two legs, one eye, she thought to herself. Probably lacking depth perception and four arms makes it top-heavy. Best strike would be straight on aiming for the waist. Jasper called her helmet and planted her feet firmly into the sand. The other gems exited the beach house to see Jasper charging full force at beast. 

Garnet looked towards Amethyst, “Sugilite.” Both gems jumped from the porch to the beach, quickly performing their fusion dance. Sugilite assembled her flail and bared her teeth at the corrupted gem just as Jasper hit head first into its midsection. As Jasper predicted, the gem lost its balance and crashed back into the water. What Jasper didn’t predict was the monster having three eyes on the other side of its head. The corrupted gem was quick to recover, now facing Jasper with three eyes focused on the orange gem’s destruction.

Jasper jumped, avoiding the monster’s attack as Sugilite swung her flail while the beast was distracted. Pearl, Steven, and Peridot stood on the beach, watching the battle, waiting to determine how they could help. Just before the flail made contact, the corrupted gem extended an arm, grabbing Jasper out of midair and slamming her into the beach. Sugilite’s flail hit hard, but the monster held Jasper tightly, pinning her in the sand. Pearl called her spear, and with a running start launched it into the beast’s arm. The corrupted gem’s arm recoiled and Pearl could see Jasper’s helmet was badly damaged. 

“Jasper, are you okay?” As Pearl asked, Jasper’s form started to become unstable. She could tell the orange gem was holding on with everything she had. “Jasper, you’re badly hurt. You NEED to …” Jasper cut her off, “No! I’ll be fine.” Pearl reached down to hold the warrior’s hand. She knew Jasper didn’t want to retreat to her gem, but Pearl wasn’t sure she had a choice. “Sugilite has this one. And I’ll protect your gem while you’re out. I promise. You’ll be safe.” Jasper knew Pearl was right, in a puff of orange dust, her form disappeared and her gem lay in the sand. 

Sugilite swung her flail one last time and the corrupted gem finally poofed. The fusion caught the gem in one hand and strolled back to the beach. “It’s good to be me,” she said as she looked at the other gems. In a flash of purple, Garnet and Amethyst unfused. Garnet bubbled the gem and sent it to the temple. Now all eyes were on Pearl, delicately holding Jasper’s gem in her hands. Peridot stood by Amethyst’s side while Steven approached Garnet. “Will Jasper be okay?” the boy asked, not nearly as anxious as he used to be when the gems would regenerate. Pearl looked towards the group, “Her gem is intact, she should be fine.” Her words were solid, certain, unlike how she felt. 

Pearl carefully took Jasper’s gem to her room and placed it on a pillow on her bed. She sat and stared at the gemstone unsure why she was feeling so worried. _Her gem is intact; she will be fine._ She thought to herself. _There’s no reason to be worried. Jasper will be back soon. Regeneration is normal for gems._ Pearl tried to remind herself of all the times during the war she had regenerated. She sighed to herself, she would just have to wait for Jasper to reform. 

Peridot sat in the living room with Amethyst, Garnet, and Steven. She was anxious, unsure if she should tell the other gems what was on her mind. “How long before Jasper is back?” Steven asked Garnet. “Not sure,” the fusion replied, looking out the window. Peridot cleared her throat. “I uhmm, I’ve known Jasper for some time, and I’ve never seen her retreat into her gem.” Amethyst looked towards the green gem and shrugged. “Well, she normally isn’t fighting corrupted gems. And like Pearl said, her gem is fine. She’ll be good as new in a few days.” Everyone nodded in agreement. They all wanted to believe Amethyst was right, but anxiety still filled the room.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I guess we're already here, I guess we already know, we've all got something to fear, we've all got nowhere to go. I think you're all insane! But I guess I am too. Anybody would be, if they were stuck on Earth with you." -Peace and Love
> 
> Jasper regenerates.

It was dark, dark and cold. There was humidity in the air, so much so, one felt drenched. An unpleasant pairing with the cold. Jasper fought to open her eyes but couldn’t. _Where am I?_ It was dark, or maybe it only seemed dark. _Why can’t I open my eyes?_ It was cold, was it cold? _Why … why can’t I feel anything?_ Jasper started to panic. _What’s going on?!_ Then she remembered; a corrupted gem, 3 eyes, crashing into the beach, her hand in Pearl’s. Jasper had retreated into her gem. She hated retreating into her gem. It felt so unfamiliar, not to mention worrying about what might be happening to her gemstone while she was out. 

_Alright, I just need to regenerate. Shouldn’t take long, right? I’m never out for more than a half hour._ Jasper tried to focus on the regeneration process. She went through her form, top to bottom, reconstructing it without damage. But she couldn’t focus. Her mind wandered to the other gems. Was Sugilite able to defeat the corrupted gem? Were the others alright? Was Pearl safe? Jasper felt abnormally anxious. She tried harder to focus on regenerating, but still couldn’t reconstruct her form. _Ugh. So I only have my consciousness and I can’t focus long enough to reconstruct my form. What am I supposed to even do?!_ Jasper thought for a moment. _What did I do on long trips to sites of colonization?_ She remembered.

Defragmentation. It was a no longer commonly used military exercise where you compartmentalized your thoughts and memories. The idea was to organize your thoughts allowing you to make better, faster decisions. The process wasn’t very hard; every time a thought came into your consciousness, you associated it with one (and only one) of the following subjects: Military, Home, Self, or Other. It conveniently organized your thoughts into what homeworld would have you believe should be your priority when making decisions. 

Jasper cleared her consciousness, waiting for the first thought to compartmentalize. _Nothing. I am here, alone with my consciousness._ Jasper filed her first thought under Self. _I don’t feel pain. That at least means my gem is intact still._ Self. _Maybe that means Sugilite beat the corrupted gem._ Home. _And that could mean everyone is safe._ Home. _That means Pearl is okay._ Home. _She promised she would take care of my gemstone while I regenerated._ Self. _I wonder if she’ll be there when I return._ Home. _There’s something about her. Something that I can’t place. Why am I so enamored with her?_ Home. Home. Home. 

Jasper stopped defragmenting. _Every thought I had about the crystal gems, every thought about Pearl, I associated them with ‘Home’. Why? Earth isn’t my home, homeworld is._ Jasper was confused. Why would she have made that kind of mistake. Was it a mistake? She had been performing defragmentation for centuries or longer, it had become an automatic response. No, it couldn’t have been a mistake, she associated the other gems, she associated Pearl with ‘Home’. _Oh boy. I have a lot more to think about than defragmentation don’t I?_ If Jasper had a proper form, she would have sighed deeply. 

Amethyst sat next to Pearl on the bed. “How are you doing P?” The purple gem asked looking concerned. Pearl lifted her head slowly to look at Amethyst, but brought her attention back to Jasper’s gemstone. “It’s been two days Amethyst.” The purple gem glanced at the gemstone and back to Pearl’s tired eyes. “I know. But think about it P, you can take months. None of us have seen Jasper regenerate. We don’t know how long she normally takes.” Pearl sighed and leaned against Amethyst. “You’re right.” Amethyst hated to see Pearl so upset. She wrapped her arms around the thin gem and gave her a hug. “Her gem’s intact. She’ll be alright.” They sat together on Pearl’s bed and watched, hoping to see a change in the gemstone resting against the pillow. 

Jasper’s mind was in full-fledged, spiraling out of control, crisis meltdown mode. _How did this happen? WHEN did this happen? What is going on with me? Homeworld is my home, MY HOME. I am a top warrior in homeworld’s military. I’m respected there. Well, that or feared. But it’s still more than I can say for this useless rock. The crystal gems don’t respect me, they laugh at me. Amethyst tries her hardest to make me look like a fool. Garnet all but ignores me. Pearl … Pearl. She tries so hard. She wants me to be a part of whatever they’re doing. She said she cared about me. And … I think I might feel something for her. And Steven seems genuine. What was that song he was singing to me before the corrupted gem attacked?_

__… Is there anything that’s worth more than peace and love on the planet earth … Jasper’s mind seemed to calm slightly, she no longer felt like she was spiraling out of control. _Peridot seems like she has grown to like it here. She sees something worth protecting, they all do. And I mean, I guess Garnet is alright. Peridot likes her, not that I can say much about Peridot, but she is a homeworld gem. And Amethyst did apologize. It was fun to spar with her. I mean, when she wasn’t trying to make me look like an idiot. Earth isn’t my home, but I suppose it isn’t so bad. What am I saying? It isn’t like I have a choice! If I show any loyalty to Earth, homeworld will never be my home again. I guess Sapphire and Ruby, Pearl, even Peridot already made that choice. If I stay, I will never see homeworld again. But if I go … if I go, I’m inevitably going to be fighting them again._ Jasper didn’t know what to do. 

Amethyst sat in Pearl’s room alone with Jasper’s gemstone. It had been 2 weeks since Jasper retreated to her gem and Pearl had spent almost every moment watching and waiting. Finally, Garnet pulled her away for a mission. Amethyst promised to stay with the gemstone until Pearl returned. The purple gem sighed. Jasper was strong; it shouldn’t be taking her this long to come back. Pearl took forever, but that was because she always wanted to get every detail correct. She had a feeling something was on Jasper’s mind, keeping her from focusing on her regeneration. 

“Hey Jasper,” Amethyst spoke in a low tone. She knew Jasper couldn’t hear her exactly, but she knew the sentiment of her words would make it through. “It’s been 2 weeks. I keep telling everyone that sometimes regeneration just takes a while, but … I don’t think that’s what’s going on. You’re a fighter, you should have been back in a couple hours. Something big must be on your mind to keep you distracted from regenerating.” Amethyst sighed. “Are you thinking about homeworld? I’ve never been there, but Pearl talks about it nonstop. ‘It’s beautiful!’ she says.” Amethyst paused, unsure how to put into words what she wanted to say. “Earth is my home. But … do you know why the others stay? Because here you aren’t just one of many. Here you’re self-made, you’re who you wanna be, no questions asked. It’s your choice to make. But I think here, on Earth, you could be so much more than what homeworld allows you to be.” Amethyst smiled to herself. “And it’s obvious P’s into you, and she aint leaving.” 

Jasper’s consciousness felt calmer than it had in a while. _I miss home, but do I miss homeworld? Do I miss the constant battles? The constant structure? Being at war, training for war, military missions … if I wasn’t a soldier what would I be doing?_ Jasper knew the answer, nothing. She would be useless and she would be terminated. But she didn’t want to think about it. _Am I more than a soldier?_ Her thoughts shifted to Pearl. _Why, why am I so focused on Pearl? She’s just another gem. No, she isn’t, she has something … something different. She’s … … DEFIANT._ Jasper suddenly recalled a memory from a long time ago. 

Jasper stood in a battle arena in front of an amethyst. Her own hair was short, fastened tightly to her head. As she stood in a battle stance waiting to take on her opponent, the booming voice of Yellow Diamond called to her. “You must learn to obey your commander. Other gems have been crushed for lesser offenses. This is your warning Jasper-#####” The amethyst backhanded Jasper across the face, knocking her to the ground. She stood, spitting blood before running her tongue over her lip. “I obey no one,” Jasper growled. 

She remembered that she was forced to retreat into her gem repeatedly. _I was special. They wanted me. They NEEDED me. They broke me so they could keep me. I used to be defiant, I used to be willful, I obeyed no one. They had plenty of jaspers, they could have replaced me, but they didn’t. Instead they broke me, they forced me to reform in their image. They needed me for something, or else they would have just crushed me._ Suddenly, it was all very clear. She tried to regenerate again, focusing on her form, top to bottom, damage free. 

Pearl rushed to the living room. It had been almost a month and Jasper’s gemstone had begun to give an incredibly faint glow. She hoped that meant the gem was returning. “Is Jasper coming back?” Steven asked with excitement. They all stared as Pearl held out her hand displaying the glowing jasper. The light began to grow brighter and brighter and slowly a form seemed to begin appearing. As the stone levitated from Pearl’s hand, she took a step back. Slowly, Jasper’s form solidified and a bright orange glow filled the room. As the light dimmed, Jasper stretched her arms over her head. She looked around the room at the familiar faces and finally stopped when she saw Pearl. The thin gem closed the few steps between them and wrapped her arms around her. “You’re back,” she said softly. Jasper smiled, her face buried in Pearl’s shoulder. “I’m back,” she whispered. 

The gems surrounding them stared in shock. Steven’s eyes were as wide as saucers while even Garnet seemed to hold a look of disbelief. Amethyst’s jaw dropped while Peridot inched her way behind the purple gem, bracing herself against Amethyst’s arm. Finally, Amethyst spoke. “Jasper … you … you …” Pearl released Jasper from her hug and as she looked up at the warrior, she couldn’t believe what she saw either.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -"I realized, we have a lot more in common than I had thought. Homeworld isn’t responsible for who we are. We are all self-made."-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter is short, but I felt a little bad about the cliffhanger and thought it could stand on its own. Hope you like it.

Jasper saw the looks on the other gems’ faces. She wasn’t sure what was going on. They didn’t quite look fearful, more like … shocked. She looked to Pearl who stared back at her in clear confusion. Amethyst had left her sentence unfinished, unsure what she was even trying to say. Finally, Pearl found enough focus to pull a hand mirror from her gem. She timidly handed it to Jasper. The orange gem took a breath before looking into the glass while the others watched.

Her hair was short, standing away from her head in short white spikes about the length of her fingers. On the left side of her head there was one lone spike of dark orange-red matching her stripes. She no longer wore her official Yellow Diamond Military uniform. Instead she was clad in black leggings ending in a band of purple low on her waist and a short purple tank top banded in black. The distinctive yellow diamond had been replaced with a deep orange jasper clasp and the shortened shirt showed the markings on her ribs and stomach. 

Jasper stared into the mirror, trying to make sense of her new form. Slowly, she reached up towards her hair and ran her hand over the spikes. A smile spread across her face as she lowered the mirror and looked at the room full of gems. “I am back!” Jasper declared in an emphatic tone. Steven was of course the first to recover from the shock. When Jasper began to smile, the boy smiled brightly back at her. “Jasper! You look … so different.” Jasper continued to smile, “This … this is how I’m supposed to look!” The orange gem spoke excitedly, “This … this is me. I’m back.” She repeated her last sentence mostly to herself. Garnet’s face returned to her normal, stoic look while Pearl seemed inquisitive, confused. Peridot continued to stand behind Amethyst. 

“What’s with the look?” Amethyst said bluntly. Jasper turned to face the purple gem, smile fading but only slightly. “Is something wrong with it?” Jasper hadn’t considered that the other gems might not be as excited as she was about her form. “Hell no, it’s awesome! But it most certainly doesn’t say big bad homeworld warrior,” Amethyst laughed. Jasper’s smile returned. “It’s a long story. But there was a time I didn’t belong to homeworld. I was … self-made. Homeworld didn’t always own me and homeworld doesn’t own me anymore. Guess I finally remembered who I was.” Amethyst smiled slyly. So Jasper had heard her. 

Steven ran to hug Jasper, excited the orange gem had returned. Jasper reached down and returned the half gem’s hug warmly. “Welcome back, Jasper,” Steven whispered as he hugged her. “Alright, Steven it is past your bed time. Jasper will still be here in the morning,” Garnet said. The boy looked up at the orange gem with pleading eyes. “Yea, I’ll be here,” Jasper replied. “Night Steven.” Garnet picked up Steven to escort him to bed but placed her hand on Jasper’s shoulder before she left. “Welcome back, Jasper.” 

Amethyst noticed Pearl standing off to the side. The pale gem had been waiting for Jasper’s return but she seemed conflicted. Amethyst thought she would give Pearl and Jasper a chance to talk. “Come on Peri. I’ve got some cool stuff in my room to show you,” Amethyst said offhandedly. She grabbed Peridot’s hand and gestured to the temple door. The green gem blushed slightly before looking towards Jasper. “Yes, well …” She bowed her head slightly to the orange gem. “It’s nice to have you back Jasper.” Amethyst gave a half smile before punching Jasper in the arm. “Self-made,” she said with a nod and led Peridot to the temple. 

Jasper and Pearl were alone once again. It seemed like not long ago they had found themselves in a similar position. Jasper reached out and touched Pearl’s arm to get her attention. The tall thin gem looked up slowly, her facial expression nervous. “Let’s go outside,” Jasper whispered. She took Pearl’s hand and led her out the beach house door. They arrived at the patch of cherry trees at the top of the temple under an incredibly bright moon. Jasper sat against a tree, gesturing for Pearl to sit with her. Pearl sat, stealing glances at Jasper when she thought the orange gem wasn’t looking. The two were silent for a while, trying to get back their comfort and familiarity. 

Jasper was the first to decide to speak. “Did you miss me?” She asked in a cocky but kind of sweet tone. Pearl blushed, “Of course I missed you. I … I didn’t know how long it would take you to come back.” She rested her head on Jasper’s shoulder as she spoke. “Amethyst kept reassuring me that you would be fine, but … when a week passed, I wasn’t so sure.” Jasper reached up and ran her fingers through Pearl’s hair. “I’m sorry for worrying you. There was just … a lot on my mind. I had trouble focusing on my regeneration.” Pearl closed her eyes and Jasper’s fingers continued to rake through her hair. She had missed the orange gem. 

“Why did you change your form?” Pearl asked softly, ghosting her fingers over Jasper’s leg. The orange gem sighed. Jasper reached down and laced her fingers through Pearl’s before she began to speak. “I wasn’t actually built to be a warrior. Okay, that might not be true. I’m not sure what I was built for, but I wasn’t always a homeworld soldier. I used to be … this … I used to be me. I kept to myself, but I did things my way, no rules, no orders, no one telling me who I was. After a while in my gem, I kept thinking the phrase ‘self-made’. I don’t know why.” 

Pearl tightened her grip on Jasper’s hand. “Amethyst. She is the only gem I’ve ever heard use that phrase,” she said softly. “After two weeks, Garnet decided it wasn’t good for me to just sit and watch your gem. She forced me on a mission and Amethyst promised she would make sure your gem was okay while I was gone. I bet she said something about being self-made.” Jasper nodded, putting some of the pieces together. “Well, I was thinking of the phase ‘self-made’, and I was thinking of you, Pearl. I was thinking about the spark of defiance I can see in you … and it reminded me of a memory I had long forgotten.” 

Jasper told Pearl of her entry into the Yellow Diamond Military. She spoke of how she wasn’t very good at obeying orders or following rules. She told Pearl of the various methods they used to train her. And finally, she recounted her fight with the amethyst. Pearl looked up at Jasper with sympathetic eyes as the orange gem spoke. “I realized that they went through a lot of trouble to break me. They could have just shattered my gem and started over with another jasper, there are so many. But they didn’t. They wore me down and molded me to what they wanted.” Pearl spoke softly under her breath, “You were chosen. You were special.” Jasper gave a half smile. “Yea, so it seems. I realized, we have a lot more in common than I had thought. Homeworld isn’t responsible for who we are. We are all self-made.” 

They sat in silence for most of the evening, watching the stars. Shortly before sunrise Jasper pulled her knees to her chest and warped her arms around them. In a quiet, almost inaudible voice she said “I don’t want to go back.” Pearl turned Jasper’s face towards her own and kissed the orange gem gently. “You don’t have to.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -“Wow, for such an elite warrior, you really are an idiot!” The purple gem turned away from Jasper rolling her eyes once again and getting up.   
> Amethyst let out a frustrated growl. “Come here,” she said as she walked through her room-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peridot has been rather clingy towards Amethyst ... anyone else notice?
> 
> Only a couple chapter left on this.

Jasper entered the temple with Pearl just after sunrise. “Amethyst is probably in her room, we should check there first,” Pearl said. Jasper had mentioned that she wanted to talk to the purple gem and Pearl agreed to help look for her. They reached Amethyst’s room and Pearl led them around a few of her piles of trash. “Amethyst?” Pearl called as they turned a corner. Suddenly the two gem stopped. “Oh! My … sorry!” Pearl said turning her head. Jasper snickered, but also turned away. They had walked in on Amethyst and Peridot kissing. 

Peridot let out a small shriek before running out of the room, face bright red. “Ugh. Really?” Amethyst said glaring at Jasper and Pearl. “Do you know how long she’s gonna lock herself in the bathroom this time?!” Jasper began to laugh and Amethyst shot her the look of death. “Keep laughing Stripes. When Steven has to pee I’ll send him to you.” Amethyst flopped down on one of the mattresses she had lying on the floor and covered her face with her arm. “Uggghhhh. Typical. And what do you want anyway?” Pearl leaned forward and placed a hand on Amethyst’s arm. “Jasper just wanted to talk to you. I said I’d help her find you. I’m sorry, we didn’t mean to … interrupt.” Amethyst removed her arm from her face. “Yea, well you did.” Pearl stood slowly. “I’m going to try to talk to Peridot. Maybe I can get her to calm down before Steven wakes up.” With that, Pearl turned and left Jasper and Amethyst alone. 

“So,” Jasper said quietly, “Can we talk for a minute?” Amethyst glared back at the orange gem, “Not interested.” Jasper rolled her eyes and sat down next to Amethyst on the mattress. “It’s about what you said to me. What you said while I was regenerating.” Amethyst’s expression softened slightly but she huffed and turned her head. “I didn’t SAY anything to you. And I’m not interested in saying anything now.” Jasper was silent for a moment. “I’m sorry about Peridot. If Pearl can’t get through to her, I’ll talk to her. I’ll fix it, I promise,” Jasper said reassuringly. “But first, will you talk to me?” Jasper sounded incredibly sincere. Amethyst wasn’t sure she had heard the orange gem address her like this before. She sat cross legged on the mattress and looked towards Jasper. “Yea, sure. What’s up?” she said reluctantly.

Jasper nervously rubbed at the markings on her arm. “After I told Pearl that I kept thinking of the phrase ‘self-made’, she suggested you might have said something to me. She said you were the only one she’s ever heard say that.” Jasper took a slow breath trying to choose her words. “I was wondering if you would mind telling me what you said.” Amethyst watched as the orange gem spoke. She wasn’t sure she wanted to repeat her words to the warrior. “I didn’t say anything to you,” Amethyst replied looking down at her hands. Jasper began to dig her nails into the palm of her hand. She needed answers and didn’t know how she would find them without the purple gem. “Please Amethyst. I know you were alone with my gemstone for some time. And I know after you were, I remembered a whole part of my life I had forgotten. I remembered who I used to be. Please?” 

Amethyst took a deep breath before she spoke. “Jasper, I didn’t say anything important or interesting. I knew you must have had something on your mind to be out as long as you were. And I assumed you were thinking about homeworld. I know very little about homeworld, but I thought I’d tell you why the other gems stay here on Earth. I said they stay to be their own gems, to be self-made instead of being a homeworld clone of every other gem.” Amethyst shrugged and became very quiet. She reminded herself that she and Jasper were not friends. She didn’t fully trust the orange gem, nor did she owe her the truth. But, Amethyst began to question that as she looked over at Jasper. 

Jasper continued to dig her nails into the palm of her hand. The pain distracted her from her fraying collected persona she was attempting to display. The two gems sat in silence until Jasper finally tore through the flesh of her palm. It was almost like a release of tension and the orange gem felt slightly calmer. “How did you know?” She said to Amethyst. “Huh?” The purple gem replied, previously distracted by her own thoughts. “How did you know?” Jasper repeated herself. “How did you know about my other life? Or were you just lucky?” 

Jasper watched as Amethyst’s face blushed a shade darker and her eyes narrowed. “Wow, for such an elite warrior, you really are an idiot!” The purple gem turned away from Jasper rolling her eyes once again and getting up. “Huh? What do you mean by that? Amethyst!” Jasper called after her, trying her best to understand what the purple gem was talking about. Amethyst let out a frustrated growl. “Come here,” she said as she walked through her room. The orange gem followed her in silence. Eventually the two arrived at the pool of water that collected in Amethyst’s room from Pearl’s waterfall. 

“Look,” Amethyst said emphatically, pointing at the water. Jasper peered into the water cautiously. “What do you see?” Amethyst asked standing beside Jasper. The taller gem paused for a moment, “I see … us.” Amethyst rolled her eyes. “I know genius. Look harder. What about us?” Jasper stared into the water but didn’t know what she was looking for. Finally, she looked back at Amethyst. The purple gem sighed. “We’re the same … aside from you being an idiot.” Jasper growled at Amethyst while the purple gem glared back, unfazed. “Just listen, okay? I’ve been talking to Peri. After she told me what I was supposed to look like, I started thinking and asking more questions. Besides being a … runt …” Amethyst growled the word under her breath, “I noticed other ways I wasn’t like what Peri described an amethyst to be. I asked about other gems too.” Amethyst circled the orange gem as she spoke. “I asked about jaspers. You are obviously not a typical jasper. Have you never noticed?” 

Jasper shrugged, “Yea, I noticed. I guess I just never thought about it. I didn’t have much time to think about things.” Amethyst sighed. “While you were out, I told you that Earth might be good for you. That here you could be the gem you couldn’t be on homeworld. I had a feeling the sentiment would get through. We’re a lot alike Jasper. More than either of us want to admit.” Jasper looked back down into the water. Amethyst was right, they were A LOT alike. Suddenly she was standing in the pool of water, drenched. Amethyst had pushed her in. “If you tell ANYONE I had this conversation with you, not only will I deny it, but I will hunt you down. Now go find Peridot and fix the trouble you caused!” Amethyst stormed off, back to her room.

\---

“Peridot, let me in.” Jasper was irritated and wanted to get this over with. Amethyst had given her the information she wanted but she wasn’t pleased that she had been pushed into the water. Regardless, she owed Amethyst her half of the deal. Steven had woken and was sitting on the couch. Garnet and Pearl stood next to each other whispering near the kitchen. “Peridot! Now this is an order. Let me in NOW,” Jasper’s angry growl was enough to get Peridot to open the door, no questions asked. 

Jasper closed the door behind her and sat in front of it. Peridot climbed back into the bathtub and curled up, facing away from Jasper. The orange gem sighed. “Peridot, what’s wrong?” When she didn’t receive an answer, Jasper decided to try again. “Peridot, look at me.” The green gem turned her head slowly. “Tell me why you’ve locked yourself in the bathroom again.” Peridot wasn’t interested in speaking, she was too embarrassed. Jasper sighed again. “So you kissed Amethyst, what’s the big deal?” Peridot’s eyes grew big as she stared back at Jasper. “What’s the big deal?! The big deal is that interacting with other gems like … like that … isn’t allowed!” 

Peridot looked terrified which confused Jasper. “Peridot, come here.” Jasper’s voice was soft and gentle. The green gem cautiously stepped out of the bathtub and stood in front of Jasper. Jasper sat up, eyes almost level with the technician. “Peridot … you stole a direct line to Yellow Diamond. Then, when you spoke to her, you refused to continue your mission and called her a clod.” Peridot’s complexion started to turn pale. “I mean, that’s how Pearl tells the story. Am I wrong?” Peridot looked at the floor. “I’m just trying to point out that you’re as stuck on Earth as the rest of us. So you kissed Amethyst? If you end up back on homeworld, you’ll have far bigger problems than your relationship.”

Peridot tried to keep the tear from rolling down her face, but she wasn’t able to. “They’ll crush me if I go back.” Jasper nodded slowly. She stood up and motioned towards the door. Peridot wiped her face and opened the bathroom door. All four gems were waiting for them in the living room. Peridot stared at the floor, avoiding eye contact and feeling rather embarrassed. Jasper led the green gem towards the others and stopped in front of Amethyst. “Peridot, they would crush any one of us if we went back.” Amethyst grabbed Peridot’s hand, lacing her fingers between the green gem’s and pulling her close. “No one is going to make you go back Peri,” Amethyst said softly.


	9. Chapter 9

Jasper sat under a tree with her knees bent, Pearl’s back against her legs. Pearl tipped her head back, resting it on Jasper’s knees and looking up towards the sky. Pearl felt odd, sitting there alone in silence, her body so close to Jasper’s. The orange gem’s hand ran gently through Pearl’s short hair and she sighed softly. It was nice to be there with her. It was nice to once again allow herself to care about someone and be cared about. She hoped the odd feeling would dissipate. 

Jasper stared off towards the horizon as she spoke. “What’s going on with us?” Pearl was surprised by Jasper’s question but didn’t move to look at her. “What do you mean?” Pearl asked gently. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She had been mentally avoiding this question for a while, but she knew it was something that was constantly on Jasper’s mind. Jasper shifted to sit cross legged and leaned forward, gently turning Pearl to face her. 

“Pearl, you know what I mean,” Jasper said softly. “It’s been a while and we’ve never really talked about … whatever is going on between us.” Pearl’s face turned pink as she looked away from Jasper. They were silent for a moment while Jasper wondered if she should say what was on her mind. Eventually, Pearl moved to sit closer to Jasper, placing her head on the orange gem’s shoulder. “I don’t know,” she said softly. “I don’t know what is going on between us.” 

Jasper nodded to herself, she was expecting this response from Pearl. She knew all about Pearl and Rose. She knew Pearl hadn’t quite gotten over Rose’s decision to give up her existence for Steven. She knew this, but still needed answers to the questions that had been on her mind recently. Gently, she lifted Pearl and placed her in her lap. Jasper usually didn’t flaunt her strength over Pearl, but it seemed the most effective way to get the thin gem’s attention. 

“Look at me,” Jasper said softly as Pearl’s face flushed. Pearl crossed her arms loosely over her stomach, a habit she indulged in when she was feeling particularly insecure. Jasper traced her finger over the outline of Pearl’s gem and watched as she shivered in Jasper’s lap. “Please, look at me Pearl.” Finally, Pearl looked up at Jasper. As she did, Jasper leaned in and kissed her deeply. The orange gem couldn’t take the distance between them. She needed to feel connected to the gem in her lap, the gem who always seemed to be saving her from herself, the gem she was fated to be with. If Pearl wasn’t going to _say_ it, Jasper at least needed to _feel_ it. 

Pearl broke free of the kiss and looked back into Jasper’s eyes. She reached up and softly touched Jasper’s spiked hair before gently running her thumb and index finger over Jasper’s gem. The orange gem closed her eyes as her body shivered slightly, unprepared for the contact. She felt it in that moment, the reassurance that they were indeed fated to be together. “Jasper.” Pearl spoke softly. Somehow, the power between them had shifted and Pearl felt it. The orange gem sat, docile and quiet, with Pearl in her lap. “Open your eyes?” Pearl asked, cradling Jasper’s face in her hand. The orange gem’s eyes blinked open to see Pearl smiling at her. 

“Have you been looking for reassurance from me?” Pearl asked quietly, resting her hands on the orange gem’s arms. “Maybe? I … I don’t know what I’m looking for,” Jasper said, avoiding eye contact. Pearl held Jasper’s hands in her own and looked down at them. She ran her thumbs over Jasper’s palms as she spoke. “I’m scared. The last time fate put someone in my path …” Pearl trailed off, rethinking what she wanted to say. “This is fate, Jasper. It is the reason I’m here with you. It is the reason you returned to your previous form. It’s even the reason for your love hate relationship with Amethyst. Fate pushes us in the direction we’re supposed to be going in. It pushed me to you, and now it is pushing you to me.” Pearl turned around, her back against Jasper’s chest. The orange gem wrapped her arms around the thin gem in her lap and sighed. 

“Can’t we just be … this?” Pearl asked, almost inaudibly. Jasper smiled as she held Pearl close. “Yes. This is perfect.”


	10. Chapter 10

It had been three months since Jasper had regenerated. It had been three months since Amethyst and Peridot’s relationship was divulged. It had been three months since Pearl had realized Jasper was indeed someone special. And now, three months later, Pearl sat across from Garnet and Peridot fuming. 

“I can’t take this anymore!” Pearl said throwing her hands in the air as she spoke. Luckily, Steven was off visiting Connie and they could freely hold this conversation in the beach house. “Amethyst’s mood has been most unpleasant recently as well,” Peridot said softly. Garnet watched the two gems in silence as she thought about their complaints. Eventually she spoke, “Where are they now?” Pearl gestured towards the door. “Last I saw; they were on the beach arguing with one another.” 

The three gems exited the beach house onto the porch. They looked over the railing and watched the two gems shouting at each other. Pearl shook her head. Amethyst and Jasper could fight about anything, and recently they had been. It was so bad that the two of them couldn’t be left together or else chaos would erupt. It needed to end, but no one knew exactly how to make it stop. Garnet adjusted her glasses before speaking to Pearl and Peridot. “I’ll handle it.” And with that, she walked down the beach. 

“Oo-ho-no! There is no way!” Amethyst said passionately. “Oh please, I don’t need you,” Jasper growled. “Enough.” Both gems jumped at the sound of Garnet’s voice. It was amazing how much respect the fusion could command out of both of them. “I have a mission for the two of you,” Garnet said glancing between Jasper and Amethyst. “And before you argue with me … No, you can’t do it alone. No, you can’t go with someone else. Yes, you will need each other. And yes, I’m trying to teach you a lesson so be quiet and just go.” 

 

Jasper and Amethyst stood on the warp pad, irritated they would be keeping each other company for this mission. “There’s an artifact I need you to bring back. You’ll know it when you see it. Go. And try to come back friends? We’re all pretty tired of listening to you two fight.” Garnet waved the two gems off and watched as the warp pad activated. Pearl and Peridot watched from the other side of the room, unsure what Garnet had planned. But they both hoped it would get the two quartz gems back on speaking terms instead of all this shouting. 

\---

Jasper stepped off the warp pad and looked around; they were surrounded by trees. She looked at Amethyst and back at the trees in front of her. “What are we even supposed to bring back?” Amethyst scoffed, “I dunno. Garnet said she wanted to teach us a lesson and for us to be friends, so probably nothing.” Jasper shook her head. “No way! Even if she sent us here to make a point, she said we were supposed to bring something back!” Amethyst shrugged at the orange gem and sat down on the warp pad. “We could always just go back and say we made up,” Amethyst suggested. “Do you really think Garnet would by that?” Jasper said angrily. Amethyst shook her head, “No, you’re right. She wouldn’t.” 

Jasper sat on the warp pad with Amethyst. “So, what are we gonna do?” Amethyst asked. Jasper rolled her eyes, “Find what we’re looking for and leave of course! I’m headed this way. You search over there.” Amethyst watched as Jasper stood and began to walk into the woods. 

“Hey! Wait!” Jasper turned around and stared at Amethyst impatiently. “Maybe we shouldn’t split up. I mean … Garnet did say we were supposed to learn a lesson. And what if one of us gets lost? I’m sure they expect us to come back together.” Jasper paused for a moment before she began to laugh. “What’s the matter? Are you scared?! I could let Peridot into the woods alone and she’d find her way back. Fine. If you’re too much of a baby to go alone then come with me.” 

Amethyst ground her teeth as she spoke, “I am not scared.” Jasper laughed as the purple gem flashed her teeth. “And besides, do you really think storming into the woods is the best idea? Maybe we should figure out where we are and where we’re trying to go.” Amethyst stretched in an attempt to see over the trees. “There’s a clearing that way. We should probably head over there.” Jasper glared at Amethyst, “And why should I trust you?” The purple gem rolled her eyes and turned away, “If you don’t believe me, just look for yourself.” 

Jasper growled as she headed off in the direction Amethyst suggested before the purple gem called after her. “What? You’re just gonna go? You aren’t gonna make sure I was telling the truth?” Jasper stopped but didn’t turn around. “Why should I? We both want the same thing. What’s the point in lying to me about it?” Amethyst paused for a moment before she broke out into a fit of laughter. “You can’t check! You can’t shape shift can you?!” Jasper had about enough of Amethyst’s taunting. She turned to the purple gem and called her battle helmet. “So what if I can’t!? I can still flatten you, runt.” Jasper’s words didn’t stop Amethyst’s laughter, “Yea, okay cheeto puff. I’ll make sure I watch my back.” 

Jasper recalled her helmet and stormed into the woods. She decided she would find whatever they were looking for and get back as fast as possible. Anything to end this forced bonding time with Amethyst. She might even leave the runt in the woods alone, just to teach her a lesson. She could hear the purple gem calling behind her, but Jasper didn’t slow down. She blindly tore through the forest at top speed until she reached the clearing Amethyst had mentioned. Jasper looked around, but didn’t see anything very interesting. The clearing was surrounded by trees and there was nothing but a few felled logs and moss in the middle. Jasper sat down and waited for Amethyst to catch up. 

Jasper’s sense of time was terrible on this planet, but it had begun to get darker, the sun dipping below the top of the trees. “Amethyst?” Jasper called into the woods, but didn’t get an answer. “Stop being such a baby! I know you’re just trying to irritate me.” Jasper looked around and suddenly felt a pang of worry. What if Amethyst wasn’t play a joke? What if Amethyst had gotten herself lost? Jasper took a deep breath. _She can stretch herself over the trees. She could find the clearing, even if she was lost._ Jasper thought to herself. But what if there were multiple clearings? What if something happened to her? It was getting dark and they were in the woods. Jasper swallowed her anxiety and took a deep breath. She decided to try to find Amethyst. It couldn’t be too hard, she was only mediocre at tracking, but it should still be good enough to find Amethyst. How many similar scents could there be in this forest? 

Meanwhile, Amethyst paced around the woods. “… such a stupid trip in the first place. It’s not like Jasper and I are ever gonna be friends. Why couldn’t G just leave us alone? And now she’s gonna find me and act all like she’s saved me. Ooooowwwwww!” The purple gem had kicked something she wasn’t expecting. 

“Amethyst!” The purple gem turned around at the sound of her name and saw Jasper running towards her. “Are you okay?” Amethyst wrinkled her nose as she answered, “Yea, I’m fine. Why?” Jasper took a step back biting her lip. “Were you … worried about me?” Amethyst asked confused. “Huh? No! I …” Jasper sighed. “Yea. I was worried about you. You seemed kinda scared to be left in the woods alone and I thought maybe there was a reason behind it. I went to the clearing and waited for you, but when you didn’t show up I was worried something had happened.” 

Amethyst sat on the ground. “Nah, I just … couldn’t keep up with you. I lost you at some point. Then I just … you know, got lost.” Jasper sat next to the purple gem. “Why didn’t you just track me?” Amethyst didn’t look up or reply. “Wait, you can’t track?” Jasper looked towards Amethyst with some confusion. “No. I can’t track.” The two were quiet for some time before Amethyst decided to speak. “So, you can’t shape shift and I can’t track.” Jasper shrugged, “Yea, I guess so.” They sat in silence each trying to figure out what to say to the other. 

Finally, Jasper spoke. “You know, I could teach you to track. I mean, that is, if you wanted to learn. I’m not all that good at it, but I guess I’m good enough.” Amethyst gave Jasper a half smile. “Thanks. And I could teach you to shape shift … If you wanted. I taught Steven … I bet you’d learn pretty fast.” Jasper smiled to herself. “Well, I guess Garnet made her point.” Amethyst laughed. “She always does. You know,” Amethyst smiled at Jasper. “You aren’t that bad. I should have told you this a while ago, but … I really did appreciate you talking to Peri when she freaked out and locked herself in the bathroom. It was really nice of you.” Jasper laughed. “No problem. I mean, we sort of had a deal. You told me … that … thing I said I’d never mention, and I said I’d get Peridot to come out of hiding.”

“Were you really worried about me just now?” Amethyst asked staring at the ground. Jasper took a deep breath before answering. “Yea. I … was. We aren’t close, but … I don’t want anything to happen to you. And … the forests on Earth sort of creep me out in the dark. I don’t like that you can’t see the sky.” Jasper turned away from Amethyst as her face darkened. “Who’s the big baby now?” Amethyst teased. “Okay, enough!” Jasper said finally smiling at the purple gem. “G got her way, we’re friends … or something. Now to figure out what we were supposed to bring back.” Amethyst jumped to her feet. “I think it might have something to do with this.” She led Jasper to the inactive warp pad she had kicked earlier. 

Jasper paced around the metal pad and stopped once she completed a full circle. “Hmm. Okay. So … do we want it to start working or never work again?” She asked Amethyst. The purple gem shrugged. “It shouldn’t warp to homeworld, so … I guess working is fine? I don’t really know.” Jasper pulled a panel on the side but couldn’t get it open. Amethyst could see her frustration and stopped her just shy of punching through the metal. “Woah! Wait a second will ya?!” Amethyst sat in front of the warp pad and looked at the panel. She pulled at two of the corners and the covering fell to the ground. “How the hell’d you do that?” Jasper asked, slightly impressed. Amethyst laughed. “I spend too much time with Peri.” 

Jasper reached into the exposed section of the warp pad and pulled out a small metal cube. The metal had a faint glow as she held it out to show Amethyst. “This is what Garnet wants … maybe.” Amethyst inspected it for a moment. “What is it?” Jasper rotated the strange object in her hand. “It’s sort of like a battery. I guess warping requires energy to start but gives off energy at the end. This thing stores the energy given off to use the next time. Or that’s at least what I understood from Pearl’s explanation.” Amethyst looked at the cube once more. “Sounds good to me. Let’s head back.” 

\---

The quartz gems warped back to the beach house and were greeted by Pearl, Peridot and Steven. “You’re back!” The boy cheered upon their arrival. “What’s that?” He asked when he saw Jasper holding a piece of metal in her hand. “A warp pad battery?!” Pearl and Peridot said at the same time. Jasper and Amethyst looked at each other in slight confusion. “Uhmm, yea. A battery from an inactive warp pad,” Amethyst replied as they sat in the living room. Peridot wrinkled her nose, “How on homeworld did you get that?” Jasper shrugged. “We were sent to retrieve something, and this was kind of the only something around. I mean, unless Garnet wanted us to bring back trees.” She looked at Amethyst anxiously. The purple gem shrugged. “Yea, it’s what G sent us out there for.” 

Pearl and Peridot still looked stunned and the quartz gems weren’t really sure why. “Is something wrong?” Steven asked Pearl. The tall, thin gem shook herself from her disbelief. “No, no. Not at all. It’s just that … the battery of a warp pad is … difficult to remove.” She turned her gaze back to Amethyst and Jasper. “How did you get the protective cover off?” Jasper shrugged once again, “I dunno, Amethyst took it off.” Peridot stared at Amethyst blankly. “And how did you manage to remove the battery from its connections?” Peridot said to the purple gem. “Uhmm, Jasper did it?” Amethyst replied. Just then, Garnet exited the temple. She plucked the battery from Jasper’s hand and inspected it. 

“Good job you two,” Garnet said gently. Pearl and Peridot still looked confused. Garnet glanced over at them and adjusted her glasses. “You two underestimate them. I mean, after all, they are quartz.” With that, she disappeared back into the temple.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a pretty mean quartz team ...

Steven rubbed his eyes as he looked around his room. He thought he had heard something, but everything looked undisturbed, except for the large pink lion licking his paw and glancing at Steve as if to say ‘what now?’ Just before the boy rolled over to go back to sleep, he heard the sound of the warp pad and leaned over far enough to see the outline of Amethyst before she was gone. The boy stretched as he stood up, patting Lion on the head before dressing and climbing down the stairs. He looked around and found no sign of anyone, so he called Lion and wandered outside. As Steven peered over the railing, he still didn’t see anyone. “Lion, can you take me to Amethyst?” The pink lion just licked at his nose before he spread his front paws and flopped towards the ground. 

When they reached their destination, Lion rolled over and pawed at a firefly before trotting off to chase the pesky insect. Steven watched, calling after him not to go too far. They had teleported to an area Steven thought looked familiar, but he wasn’t able to place the memory. As he looked around, he admired the tall grass and sparse patches of wild flowers. He followed the only noises he could hear and came upon Amethyst and Jasper. The boy was quiet, trying not to startle them but watched intently, unsure as to what they were doing. At first, Steven was sure they were fighting; Amethyst clenching her jaw, holding her whip visibly, while Jasper wore her battle helmet, her head low. Amethyst was picking up boulders with her whip and launching them as hard as she could at Jasper, who promptly smashed each one. After the two or three rocks remaining had been smashed, the two stopped. 

“More?” Jasper said tentatively. Amethyst just nodded. They walked to the cliff side, where Steven imagined the rocks were coming from. Amethyst used her whip to pull down another boulder from the top and launched it at the side of the cliff, while Jasper ran at it head first. Several more rocks came tumbling down and the gems looked at their spoils. “This is good for now.” Amethyst nodded again. 

Steven sat quietly, watching as Amethyst attacked Jasper and the orange gem defended. He was curious to know what they were doing, but he could tell this was a moment he wasn’t supposed to interrupt. Finally, Amethyst seemed tired and out of breath. She stopped reaching for rocks with her whip and slumped down in an awkward pile in the dirt. Jasper recalled her helmet and sat next to the purple gem. They sat like for a while before Steven decided to make his presence know. Slowly, he approached the two gems and waved when they looked up at him. 

“Hi. I heard you from my room. I just wanted to check that everything was okay. It’s really late.” The gems said nothing, but Jasper gestured for the boy to sit. They continued to sit in silence until Steven looked at Amethyst and spoke softly. “Are you doing alright, Amethyst?” “Peachy,” she replied without looking up. Jasper rolled her eyes. “He isn’t stupid, Amethyst. The least you could do is not LIE to him.” The purple gem looked up with fire in her stare. Even with one eye covered by her hair, Jasper knew the look was supposed to be intimidating. Jasper just shook her head and mumbled, “Hell hath no fury like a pissed off quartz.” 

Steven directed his attention to Jasper. “What are you doing out here?” Jasper wasn’t sure how to answer. What were they doing out here? She fixed her eyes on the ground. “Were you and Amethyst fighting?” Jasper looked up at the young boy, startled by his question. “No. We weren’t fighting. We were just …” Jasper trailed off and glanced at Amethyst. The purple gem didn’t look up. The three were silent again, until finally, Jasper spoke. 

“Steven? What do you know about quartz gems?” The warrior’s voice was quiet and she didn’t meet the boys gaze. Steven thought for a moment before he spoke. “Well, Pearl says they’re soldiers. And Peridot says they’re big and tall. And they … seem to have a lot of hair …” Jasper almost smiled to herself. “Yes, but I mean what do you know about their personalities?” Steven frowned slightly as he looked at the ground. “I’m not sure. I don’t know any, other than you two.” 

Jasper sighed quietly, “Well, what do you know about your mother’s personality?” Steven looked thoughtful as he sat and pondered Jasper’s question. He didn’t know much about his mother; the gems didn’t talk about her directly very often. “She was loved, at least by the crystal gems. And she loved the earth!” The boy stopped for a minute. “And … she cared a lot about things.” Jasper nodded slowly. “Quartz gems,” she said to the boy, “are often driven by emotion. Emotions can fuel the actions of a quartz.” 

Steven thought about this for a moment. His mother did seem to be fueled by her love for the planet earth and her desire to protect it. Jasper had often seemed driven by her anger, even her fusion with Lapis was seeking revenge. And Amethyst seemed to let her frustration drive her sometimes. Maybe Jasper had a point. Steven ran his fingers over his gem, thinking about how it responded to his emotions. “So …” Steven looked towards Jasper then towards Amethyst. “Amethyst … did something make you angry?” The purple gem’s face flushed as she stood. “I’ve told you before, I only feel how I wanna feel!” Jasper held the boy’s arm as he tried to chase after Amethyst. “Sit down, Steve. We should talk …” 

\---

Jasper had been spending a lot of time with Amethyst. At the beginning, they had both found it strange. Even after Amethyst pointed out to Jasper how they were the same, the two still didn’t think they were similar enough to be _friends_. After a while, they began to learn a lot about each other and subsequently, about themselves. The realization happened one night as Jasper sat on the beach. She heard Amethyst shouting at Garnet and walked back to the beach house to see what was going on. When she arrived, Amethyst had warped off and Garnet stood next to the warp pad, her expression unreadable. 

“Uh, everything okay?” Jasper said looking around the living room. There was what looked like a sandwich dropped on the floor and possibly stepped on. Garnet gave a shrug, “Amethyst needed some time to cool down.” Jasper nodded, not fully understanding what was going on. “I see. So, everything is alright?” The orange gem stared skeptically at the fusion. “She’s at the kindergarten,” was all Garnet said before entering the temple. Jasper sighed. She assumed Garnet wouldn’t have given her Amethyst’s location if she wasn’t supposed to go after her. She scooped the remains of the sandwich up and threw them away, predicting Pearl’s furry if she found it, then stepped onto the warp pad. 

She found Amethyst as Garnet predicted, in the kindergarten sitting on a rock. Jasper knew Amethyst could hear her approaching, so she sat down and waited for the purple gem to speak. After what seemed like an eternity, Amethyst acknowledged the orange gem. “You don’t have to be here you know.” Jasper didn’t bother to look up, “Yup.” Amethyst stood and crossed her arms after brushing the hair out of her face. “Did Garnet send you? Did she fill you in on how I’m reckless and impossible?” Jasper still didn’t look over towards Amethyst, “Nope and Nope. You wanna fill me in?” 

Amethyst sat back down, “There’s nothing to say. I got mad and yelled at G. I’m obviously defective and can’t control how I feel and act.” With that, Jasper began to laugh. The purple gem glared, but Jasper continued to laugh in a way that left Amethyst feeling like she missed something. “What’s so funny?” She asked, still glaring at the orange gem. Finally, Jasper stopped, turning to face Amethyst. “You really think you can’t control your emotions because you’re defective,” Jasper said mostly to herself. Amethyst balled her hands into fists before turning away from Jasper. “Did you come here just to laugh at me? Because I’m not in the mood,” Amethyst growled. 

Jasper slowly approached Amethyst, resting her hands on the smaller gem’s shoulders. “I’m not here to laugh at you. What are you so upset about?” Amethyst sighed. She had calmed down since her argument with Garnet and now just felt silly. “Nothing really, it was pretty stupid. I just … I hate being treated like a child! But … I got mad and overreacted.” Jasper looked down at Amethyst, “Because you’re a quartz.” Jasper sat back down while Amethyst stared at her. “You aren’t defective Amethyst, you’re just a quartz.” Amethyst leaned against a boulder, “What do you even mean by that?” 

“Yes, quartz gems are soldiers. They’re powerful and strong, and able to survive a fight. But …” Jasper shifted her gaze, tracing the markings on her arm. “They’re impulsive … I mean, we’re impulsive. We have lots of strong emotions … about pretty much everything, and … they tend to push us to do things. It takes a lot of practice to learn to resist the first impulse and think instead of act. You’re a hothead because you haven’t trained yourself not to be, not because you’re defective. Hasn’t anyone ever told you this?” Amethyst looked around the kindergarten with a sullen expression. “You and Rose are the only quartz gems I’ve known.” 

Amethyst slid down the boulder she was leaning against and sat in the dirt. She wasn’t sure she understood the point Jasper was trying to make, but as much as she disliked this trait, the idea that she was supposed to be like this was comforting in a weird way. Jasper picked up a rock and threw it absentmindedly before she began to speak again. “It isn’t an excuse, Amethyst. You’re a hothead and a pain sometimes, but it’s part of who you are. And just like other quartz gems have learned to control it, you should too.” Amethyst avoided eye contact with Jasper, “How did you learn? I mean … you have a pretty awful temper, but you don’t seem to be so …” Jasper looked up, “Impulsive?” supplying the word she believed Amethyst was searching for. “It’s because I’m not. Leading an army while being impulsive means losing solider, losing friends. You learn quickly.”

Jasper sighed. Amethyst was young, very young. She was much younger than Jasper and the orange gem usually didn’t mind the age difference. But today, it was making Jasper feel … old. “Not all quartz gems are angry. We just,” she paused for a moment, “Sometimes we act impulsively on our feelings, whatever those feelings may be.” Amethyst thought for a moment, her eyes narrowing slightly. “You’re impulsive too Jasper, just maybe not with your anger.” Jasper cocked her head slightly and glanced at Amethyst. “Oh really?” The purple gem threw her head back in a laugh, “Oh. Really. Pearl told me about your first kiss.” Amethyst smirked as Jasper’s face grew red. “And more recently, when you almost put your fist through the warp pad battery cover. Or when you got really excited about that water gun fight. Admit it. You may have your anger under control, but you’re still pretty impulsive.” 

Jasper rolled her eyes at the younger gem, even though she had a point. “Fine. Yea, I’m impulsive too. But that isn’t the point. You can’t just blow up on your teammates, Amethyst. You’ve got to start controlling yourself.” Amethyst looked back at Jasper, “I know.” The purple gem seemed disheartened. “Sometimes,” she started softly, “I just feel like I have this weight crushing me. I feel heavy inside and it makes it that much harder to control how I feel.” Jasper watched as Amethyst hid her face from the orange gem. She could see the tears collecting in the corner of the purple gem’s eye and she felt an ache in her chest. 

Amethyst made a subtle movement to wipe her eyes before speaking again. “Pearl tries to get me to talk about it, but … I don’t have anything to say to her.” The purple gem ran her fingers through the dirt, eventually rolling a pebble between her fingers. “Peri can’t relate to any of it, she just has no idea what it feels like. And Garnet … she’s built from love. She’s either stable and grounded or she isn’t Garnet.” Amethyst paused for a while before abruptly changing topics. “Everyone is really happy to have you around Jasper. I mean, I wasn’t thrilled when you first came back. But really, everyone is genuinely happy you’re part of this team.” 

Jasper wasn’t sure what to say. On one hand she knew what Amethyst was doing. She knew the purple gem was deflecting, but she also thought deep down she might be offering up something more. Jasper moved to sit next to Amethyst. She sat close enough that her leg rested against the purple gem’s and she wrapped her arm around Amethyst’s waist. She could tell Amethyst was surprised, but she didn’t move. After a while Jasper spoke, “The weight is pain, Amethyst. It’s all the painful memories and feelings you can’t let go of; gems and people you’ve lost, times you’ve been disappointed, times you disappointed others.” Jasper sighed heavily. “The weight is part of you, but after a while, you need to let some of it go.” She pushed her hand under Amethyst’s thick mound of hair and let her fingers rub gently against the purple gem’s head. After a while, Jasper could hear a soft purr like sound from the smaller gem and Amethyst leaned against Jasper. “Everyone is genuinely happy you’re a part of this team too, Amethyst. You belong here.” 

Jasper knew the kindergarten was Amethyst’s place to feel safe, and as she sat there with the earth gem, she felt a strange gentleness she hadn’t felt in a really long time. Amethyst eventually pulled away from Jasper and stood up, stretching as she did. “It’s getting late, we should head back.” Jasper stood, brushing the dirt from herself and began to head towards the warp pad. “Hey,” Amethyst said quietly. As Jasper turned around, the small gem wrapped her arms around Jasper’s lower half. “Thanks,” she said with a blush before releasing Jasper and heading towards the warp pad herself. 

\---

Jasper was having a hard time making eye contact with Steven. The boy was so curious, so caring, his eyes gave you the feeling he was looking at your soul. “So, Amethyst and I were just out here venting frustration. We weren’t fighting.” Steven looked back at Jasper with what seemed like relief. “But, we should probably head back. And you should be asleep.” Jasper offered the boy a half smile as they stood to look for Amethyst and Lion. 

“Jasper?” Steven asked as they walked through the flowers once again. “Are you okay?” As he spoke, Amethyst joined them, seemingly feeling cooler headed. She gave Jasper a light punch to her thigh before offering a smile. Jasper smiled back at Amethyst and then at Steven. “Yea, I’m doing alright. This is a pretty mean quartz team we have right here.” 

“Yea it is!” Amethyst replied, ruffling Steven’s hair.


	12. Chapter 12

Jasper warped to the washer, where she found Pearl folding laundry. She seemed focused, as if perfecting laundry was the last step to ensure peace here on earth. She saw Jasper, but didn’t make any attempt at a greeting, she just continued to fold. Jasper sat, watching Pearl’s ritualistic methodology; everything folded the same size, everything folded into the same shape, everything stacked in a neat pile. Jasper thought it was a little strange, but it was Pearl, fascinating, wonderful, caring Pearl. 

When the laundry was finished, Pearl sat next to the orange gem. “You didn’t have to sit and watch me do laundry,” Pearl said. “I know it isn’t really interesting or fun.” Jasper thought about Pearl’s statement. No, it wasn’t fun, but she supposed it was slightly interesting. “I know I didn’t have to, I wanted to. I like sitting here with you. You were so focused, I just thought I’d wait and watch.” Pearl blushed, unsure what exactly Jasper had meant by that comment. 

“Wait for what?” Pearl asked quietly. She knew something was on Jasper’s mind. The orange gem had been uncharacteristically quiet recently. Pearl often caught her looking like she was going to start a sentence, and then turning away, shaking her head. Pearl had a lot on her mind too. Things she desperately wanted to share with Jasper, but she wasn’t sure how the conversations would good. 

“Just waiting for you,” Jasper replied. The orange gem turned and placed a kiss on Pearl’s cheek. As Pearl blushed, Jasper wondered if that was the wrong thing to do. She had recently felt incredibly confused regarding their relationship. There were moments Pearl seemed to crave attention from Jasper and others where she would pull away, looking uncomfortable. Jasper hadn’t been able to pinpoint the difference between the two sets of situations and it had left her feeling unsure. 

Jasper bit her lip and spoke in a small voice, “Did I do something wrong?” Pearl’s eyes widened as she looked at Jasper. “No! No, not at all. You … you’ve been perfect.” Pearl raked her fingers through her hair for a moment before making eye contact with Jasper again. She sighed as she began to speak. “I’ve recently talked to Garnet …” Pearl trailed off, unsure how to say what she was thinking. Jasper shifted in her seat, expecting this conversation to go badly. “She’s helped me to see some things, to think about some things I have been avoiding.” 

Jasper turned away from Pearl. She didn’t want to hear the rest of this conversation, she knew where it was going. “It’s fine, Pearl. You don’t have to finish.” Jasper stood and took a step towards the warp pad. Pearl was confused. “Where are you going?” she asked, but Jasper didn’t look back. “Jasper!” But with a flash, the orange gem was gone. Pearl watched the bright outline from the warp pad fade away. She wasn’t sure exactly what had happened but Jasper was obviously upset. She stared off into the ocean, hoping it would give her an idea of what to do. 

\---

Pearl walked through the temple aimlessly. She told herself she was thinking, but really, she was hoping she would come across Amethyst. The purple gem was able to understand interpersonal conflict much better than Pearl was. Maybe Amethyst would be able to give Pearl an idea of what had gone wrong. She walked slowly through the winding halls of the temple, trying to remember the last time she just walked their living area. It had been too long. When Rose left, each of the gems seemed to spend more and more time alone in their rooms. It became commonplace that each gem’s room within the temple was solely her own and that disturbing her within was unacceptable. Pearl still tried to abide by that unwritten rule while she walked the temple space alone. She only approached the boundaries of the others’ rooms, being careful not to enter without cause. 

“Pearl.” Amethyst’s voice was clearly irritated. Pearl spun around, looking for the purple gem, wondering if she had somehow intruded on space Amethyst had designated as her own. Amethyst reached out, placing her hand on Pearl’s arm before the taller gem saw her. Amethyst looked frustrated, her eyebrows knitted and her lips pursed. Pearl tried a smile, but she knew the expression didn’t come out right. “Let’s talk,” Amethyst said, leading Pearl to a less obvious corner of the temple. 

“What do you want to talk about?” Pearl asked, eyes downcast. She knew Amethyst could tell something was wrong, but she didn’t want to admit it. Amethyst sighed. “Why is Jasper sulking? And why are you pacing the temple?” Pearl’s eyes grew wide, “Jasper is sulking?” She knew Jasper was upset, that much was clear, but sulking? Sulking suggested she was hurting, not just angry as Pearl had suspected. “I … I don’t know why Jasper is sulking.” She looked towards Amethyst with concern. Amethyst just shook her head. “Pearl, what happened?” 

What happened indeed? Pearl wasn’t sure she knew. “I was trying to talk to her. There’s been a lot I’ve meant to say, but it’s been hard for me to say it. I told her that I’ve been speaking with Garnet. And she’s helped me think about some things I was avoiding.” Pearl anxiously rubbed her arm. “She stopped me and told me I didn’t have to finish what I was saying. Then she left.” She looked up at Amethyst. “I … I don’t know what’s wrong.” 

“Well, that sounds like the perfect opening line for a breakup if I’ve ever heard one, Pierogi.” Pearl’s mouth dropped open. “Breakup? What are you talking about?!” Amethyst put her hand up to her forehead with a quiet slapping noise. How did she become the one fixing relationships around here? “You gave her the preamble to a breakup speech, Pearl. She thinks you were dumping her!” Pearl’s eyes glossed over as she shook her head. “No, no. I wasn’t … I didn’t …” Amethyst put her arm around Pearl as she spoke. “Calm down P. No damage done that can’t be fixed. Just go talk to her.” Pearl wasn’t sure it would be that easy.

After much encouragement from Amethyst, Pearl was off to find Jasper. Amethyst suggested the battle arena, as that was where she saw her sulking last. As Pearl rematerialized at the battle ground, she could see Jasper from a distance, sitting alone. Pearl approached Jasper slowly, hoping she wasn’t too angry. “Jasper?” she said gently. The orange gem didn’t respond. Pearl didn’t know if she would be able to say all the things she had been wanting to say to Jasper. It was going to be too hard to look into those piercing eyes. She sat down behind Jasper, leaning her back against hers. 

“Amethyst has told me that what I’ve said to you sounded like I wanted to end our relationship.” Pearl could feel Jasper’s body tense. “The runt’s a smart gem,” Jasper mumbled under her breath. “Jasper, that isn’t what I wanted. Not at all! I’m so sorry it sounded that way.” Pearl reached her arm out, looking for Jasper’s. When she found it, the orange gem didn’t pull away, allowing Pearl to rest her hand on top of hers. “I’ve been incredibly unfair to you, keeping you at a distance. It’s been silly of me not to talk with you about this before.” Pearl sighed softly. “Garnet made it very clear to me. And I want to fix it, that is if you still want to continue with our relationship.” 

They sat in silence for a moment before Jasper spoke “Talk to me, Pearl. Tell me what’s been going on.” Pearl ran her fingers over Jasper’s, envisioning how her thin fingers must look running over the warrior’s. “Rose was my everything. Once she was gone, I couldn’t imagine having another relationship, I couldn’t imagine replacing her.” She paused, trying to determine what to say next. “So, when things began with us, I felt … conflicted. I tried to tell myself that most of my behavior was just that of a good teammate, but I was lying to myself. And when you retreated to your gem …” As Pearl trailed off, Jasper turned her hand over, lacing their fingers together. She knew this was hard for Pearl, but she needed to hear it. And she was sure Pearl needed to say it as well. 

“I thought I could keep you and Rose separate. I thought, that as long as I didn’t allow myself to feel the same things I felt with her, that I wouldn’t be replacing her. But, of course that didn’t work.” Pearl got up and moved to face Jasper. “Garnet helped me to see that the whole idea was stupid. It was ridiculous to think that I could decide what I did and didn’t feel for you, that I could turn my emotions on or off. And it was equally ridiculous to think I should avoid a relationship with you just because of my feelings towards Rose. You’re important to me, Jasper.” Jasper leaned in and kissed Pearl deeply, pulling the other gem into her lap. 

“You’re important to me, too. I’m sorry I didn’t let you finish what you were saying the other day.” Pearl rested her head against Jasper’s shoulder as the warrior ran her fingers over Pearl’s arm. “Listen, I know this is hard for you. It’s not easy for me either. But, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try. I don’t want to take Rose’s place. I don’t want to take anyone’s place.” Jasper cradled Pearl’s face in her hand. “I want to be special to you regardless of how you feel for anyone else.” 

Pearl let out the breath she had been holding. “You are, Jasper, stars you are. You aren’t taking Rose’s place at all. You have your own place in my life and I want that to continue. I guess, I was just afraid that you having a place would mean I forgot about the place Rose had.” Jasper pulled Pearl close, “You can love both of us, Pearl,” Jasper said softly. She ran her hand gently over Pearl’s back as she listened to the smaller gem cry. Pearl sat up and wiped the tears from her face before she spoke. “You are important to me, Jasper. You are someone special, I want to make sure you never forget that.” She pushed her fingers into Jasper’s mound of spiked hair as she stared into her eyes. “You aren’t Rose. And I don’t want you to be. I want you to be Jasper. I want you, Jasper.” 

Jasper stared back at Pearl, speechless. Pearl sounded so sure, so confident that she knew exactly what she wanted, and what she wanted was Jasper. The orange gem wasn’t sure she had ever had someone so confident in their desire to be with her. She kept her gaze on Pearl’s eyes, unsure what to say back to her. Pearl smiled at Jasper, amused that she had managed to strike the warrior silent. “Don’t know what to say?” Pearl replied with a giggle, tightening her grip on Jasper’s hair. “Just kiss me.” Jasper closed her eyes as her lips met Pearl’s and in the moment, everything felt perfect. As they slowly pulled away, Jasper smiled, “So, this is real? We’re doing this?” Pearl leaned into Jasper, placing her head on the warrior’s shoulder. “Yes. So it seems we are.” She laced her fingers through Jasper’s and squeezed her hand.


End file.
